Depression in the Time of Typhoid

So it appears Harare has a typhoid epidemic, although the government hasn't really responded and there is no medical alert. A close friend of mine has had it and is recovering. She's not sure still where she contracted it from. Guess one has to be wary about eating out and what water you're drinking. Have become familiar with the tale of Typhoid Mary.

Am helping my two students that I tutor at the International School with their assignment on plastic. Learnt today that the first plastic was invented in the late 1800's as a solution to not using ivory for billiard balls. The inventor Hyatt instead created a plastic out of cellulose and camphor. Also found an article on the Great Pacific Garbage Patch - a floating mass of floating plastic waste spanning from California to Japan. My Chinese student got quite emotional about it and it's effects on animals and the environment but my Swedish student was rather unfazed. Claire the Chinese student may come up with a solution, who knows.

Only had two others come to tonight's Depression Support Group meeting. It was constructive though and we were able to share on different challenges with depression and our own experiences. Was told about a TED talk by Andrew Solomon. I think the one below is one of the best I've heard on depression to date. It was brought up at the group that we could try do work on raising awareness in Zim and try offer support to those who can't afford treatment. A girl I was at school with is currently running from Harare to Victoria Falls for awareness on mental health and to raise money for the Zimbabwe National Association for Mental Health. If you'd like to sponsor her have a look here. You can also read her posts as she runs on Wordpress here.

Nellie English running for Zimbabwe Mental Health

TED talk on Depression by Andrew Solomon

Photograph not a painting

I am busy preparing for the Wild Geese Art Festival in 3 weekends' time (eeeeek). The coordinator, Leslie Johnson, posted on Facebook my photo of one of Imire's dams with the msasas in the early morning. She simply stated it was one of my landscapes but failed to say it was a photograph. It was amusing that I got over 20 comments saying how life like my painting was and how it looked just like a photograph. Had to put a comment that it is indeed a photograph and not a painting - I am not that good at capturing life like imagery in my painting. Several acquaintances also said they had seen a painting of mine and didn't realise I was so talented - again I had to break it to them, haha. Below is the photo and my current attempt to try paint it in acrylic so I have actually tried to capture it in paint.

Speaking of Imire I will be filling in for the Volunteer Coordinator for a week mid-May. The home school have said it's OK as for the moment we only have one student for next term. They will be trying to get more students but schools go back next week. In the meantime I have picked up another student to tutor AS level maths to. So far we've been doing arithmetic and geometric progressions. It has been a while since my brain has had to think like that. I guess it's good for my grey matter. I also have a friend who wants me to revise statistics with them.

Have been doing better than when I last posted. Seen my psych who put my olanzapine back up again as that may have contributed to my low. I had had an exceptionally social Wednesday prior to my crash. This was followed though by days when I didn't have structure to my day which is never a good thing. I also spoke to my psych about how lithium seems to numb my emotions and I just don't feel passionate about things any more and how this is potentially affecting my faith. She has said I will have to decide if I want to switch meds again - potentially to anti-convulsants or stay on lithium. To quote her though "lithium is the gold standard of medication for bipolar" and the other meds will come with their own baggage of side effects. I need to research up on them.

Having our next Depression Support Group meeting on Wednesday and topics people have put forward are 

1) Dealing with the lack of desire to socialize;

2) anxiety, how to cope with change and lack of control; 

3) when should you tell someone (work, boss, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc) that you have a mental health problem?; 

4) being overly sensitive and empathetic, is it a bad thing? how do i deal with strong feelings?; and lastly 
5) getting over the guilt of taking care of yourself first (is it selfish)

and 

Coping alone

Finding and changing drugs/doctors that work for you

How to tell someone about your mental health issues 

Treating yourself through diet and exercise

Coping with change

The issue of coping with change is a big one for me as it causes me anxiety and can trigger dips.

Retreat

And just when I thought I was doing fine
the chemistry in my brain is changed and I retreat.
Between the bed clothes I hide
away from the world, work and myself.
I feel like nothing and shrink into my shell.
To the outside world all has to be well.

I just don't get this thing called life
and all the things for which we strive.
Others don't understand and pass remarks,
they're unappreciated and inside I grimace.
This unpredictable bipolar brain and its drugs,
just when I thought I had it tamed.