Last Friday I tried to take an overdose of lithium. I had stopped taking my antidepressant Venlor the previous week as it was thought to possibly be a cause of me passing blood. The colonoscopy on Wednesday showed this not to be the case but I remained off Venlor. My Mum left for England on Thursday and my mood crumbled and on Friday I felt suicidal most of the day, culminating in taking a whole lot of pills that night on my own. I came round in an emergency room to friends and have spent this week with my friend Sharon.
My mood has been mercurial and feeling cut off I made a drastic decision of contacting my Dad whom I have not heard from since I was 13. I have been in contact with him this week via Whatsapp. This has also unsettled me a bit. My Dad is still not taking medication for bipolar and he is a bit volatile. He claims his manic phases make him highly creative.
I have not seen my psych yet but friends are urging me to get a second opinion on my meds. Apparently lithium is more for treating manic episodes than depressive ones. I get more of the latter. I did meet someone who also has bipolar who sees a psychiatrist I was suggested and they are on the same combo of drugs I'm on.
Right now my lithium seems to be kicking in again and I feel emotionally numb but deep down there is still a lot of pain there.
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