Saw my therapist again today and she stressed I need to take responsibility for things. It sometimes just doesn't feel like I can and I just feel like I'm drowning with no way out. She also said I've got to make up my mind if I'm going to England in a few weeks time or not. It is weighing on me heavily and I am not happy. Although my lithium dose has gone up I keep hitting big downs. It is not helped by the pressure of deciding and family politics. Friends of my Mum's have said they don't think I should write this blog. Other friends who also have bipolar say it helps them and it is stuff I would keep bottled inside. I don't really care. No one has to read this and if you do you can have your own opinion, it doesn't really faze me.
Finally watched The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive. Stephen Fry is my hero.
Otherwise am fairly busy in the afternoons with tutoring and TEFL. Also now teach on Saturdays. I will in addition be doing my first tour guiding round Harare in French job in November on a Sunday luckily as I am filling in at the Convent as the head librarian for three weeks. Hoping to get some people to come to art at Sorella's on Friday mornings too.
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