Confliction

Just heard from my Step-Mother, who was my Dad's second wife, that she and my Half-Sister met up with my Dad in the UK. It seemed to go well, although they were both apprehensive about it. My Dad apparently seemed like a changed man and asked for forgiveness for the past. For the first time he asked after me.

The big thing is my Dad is on Facebook. I don't know how I feel about that and am in two minds as to how to respond. It may be better for me to email him as I haven't communicated with him in any way since I was 14.

It brings up all sorts of mixed feelings and stuff I have buried deep inside. Apparently if I do go over to the UK my Dad is keen to meet me. I will need to be in a strong mental state for that. Had talked to my therapist and we had said it was something I would need to work through again. Haven't thought along this track in a while and there are still parts that are very painful.

Lots to process and a bit of a curveball I won't lie.

Reconnecting with my Dad's side

For those who don't know my Parents have been divorced since I was about 8 and after my Dad became abusive I eventually stopped seeing him when I was about 12. It was all rather a rough period of my life and I tend to bury it. My Sister has been in touch with my Dad recently but I have not. He did not make an effort to try reconnect with me and it only two years since he made contact with my Sister that he finally asked after me. In many ways I am happier to not be in contact but it did hurt that it took him this long to ask anything about me.

I have recently connected with two of my cousins who's father is my Dad's brother. Their part of the family had always remained neutral and I had heard from my Aunt in Australia. When I was down in Joburg two weeks ago I met up with my one cousin and it was good to reconnect and be with family. I heard news of my Grandmother who is my only remaining grandparent and of my Aunt and other cousins. We unfortunately ended on bitter terms after things got complicated with my Dad and I have not heard or seen them in a very long time.

On returning to Zim I found that one other cousin is actually attending the same church as me in Harare. I had never met her before and it is a long time since I have been in contact with her dad, my Uncle and his family in Bulawayo. It is quite nice to have another family member in the same city as us though.