Today saw me reaching a milestone and turning a corner. I have made a decision on a plan for the next year and I feel it is time for me to venture out of Zimbabwe again for an interlude. The fact that I have been able to rationally come to this decision and I have not succumbed to a wave of uncertainty and much indecisiveness speaks volumes and that I am ready to venture out again on my own shows I have come a long way. From working with my therapist I know that there are safety nets I need to put in place to help me not spiral out of control and preempt total emotional disintegration again hopefully.Harare has been good for me in my convalescence with its familiarity and close knit community, however the lack of variation and a cosmopolitan, young society is beginning to suffocate me and I need to step out of it again for a while, explore new paths and hopefully meet new friends and reunite with some old ones up north.
Tonight I went to the Zim New Covenant Ministries International Equip and the message's title was prophetically "Breaking your ceiling". It feels like a confirmation that God is wanting me to move out of my comfort space and be challenged to stretch myself and go beyond where I have been. I feel liberated as I have been feeling like I've got stuck in a rut and life is passing me by with no clear direction of where I am going. I now have a goal to work towards and hope to be able to reach 30 and know I have taken ownership again of my decisions once more and am putting in a bit more effort in taking steps towards something. It is one of the things that makes me able to get up in the morning and have something to live and get out of bed for.
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