Studying once more

I am back in the Mother City, Cape Town and starting a CELTA teaching English as a foreign language course tomorrow. I'm a little apprehensive as it is not as easy a course as I had thought and it has been a little while since I studied something intensively. I guess I need to just go with the flow and not get panicked over something I haven't started yet. Busy learning phonemes though and going back over the pre-course assignments and trying to get to grips with the passive versus the active.

Have seen some good friends in Cape Town and been with family and it has been good to reconnect. Not sure what my time is going to be like once the course gets going and how social I will be when it does. Hope to visit some churches though.

It is the first time I've been away from Zim for a sizeable amount of time since I returned to Switzerland to pack up at the end of 2010 and stayed on to do organic farming in Italy. Guess it is good to get some outside perspective and to see new environments and other things. Part of me is feeling like I'm missing out on things back home but I need to enjoy what I have here and the time away.

So tomorrow I start in Sea Point and I become a student once again. Have my first teaching prac on Tuesday - hoping it's not as hard to come up with lessons and ideas as it feels it will be.

Learning to Trust

Jeremiah 17:7-8  

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

I have been struggling with depression again of late and finding it hard to have the will power to get up each day. A lot of it boils down to not having enough to keep me occupied. I could have been using my time to do creative things like art or photography or writing but I just didn't have the inclination to. 

Whilst I have a lot to look forward to this year with a trip to Cape Town at the end of this month to do a course and then going to the UK for a working holiday in June all the changes have also unsettled me and I am a creature of routine to an extent so the forthcoming changes knock me. I have also been apprehensive about studying again as the last time I did was in Switzerland and that ended badly. I need to regain confidence and feel I can do it.

Had been worried too about leaving my Mum on her own whilst I was away after we had the armed robbery. We have found a reliable gardener now though who is living on the property and this will mean better security for my Mum. Just have to get our dog Jasper to not attack our gardener.

Guess what I really need to do is trust God and his plans and stop going so far ahead into the future of what ifs that I don't live in the present of what is. Having too much time to think on my own is not good. Whilst I'm a people person at times though, when I am having a dip the last thing I feel like doing is being social, but it is often one of the best things I can do.

My therapist has suggested I try get out the house each day and fit in daily exercise. To also try get down to doing some art and to think about things of beauty and good.

CELTA Course and Plans

After working full time the whole of last year I am back to doing part time tutoring and ad hoc work. Although I get bored with routine I do miss having structure to my day and wasn't doing so well with endless hours of free time at the beginning of January with no firm plans. A teeny part of me regretted not taking the job teaching maths full time at Peterhouse.

Since then I had two Skype interviews, one for a CELTA course in Oxford and the other for one in Cape Town and accidentally forgot about an interview set up for a scientific equipment marketing job in California. The California job might have been interesting but is a little far from home. I got accepted on both CELTA courses and have opted to do it in Cape Town in March. It sounds like it is going to be quite an intense four weeks but will give me some needed skills in teaching and a qualification.

My plan is to then visit the UK in the summer and use the CELTA qualification in Oxford. I have also been invited by friends to go with them to the south of France which will be lovely. 2015 is therefore going to be a bit of travel and new things (nearly said 2014). From my art group we did chapter 7 of The Artist's Way looking at recovering a sense of connection. We had each collected pictures that reflected our past, present, future and dreams. One of the things that came out for me from that was the wish to travel so 2015 looks set to check that box. It is thanks to a very generous friend helping assist me do this.

I think it will do me good to step out of Zim for a bit and get new perspective. I need to decide on my longterm plan. On my current and past salaries I could not really afford to live here if something happened to my Mum. “Science,” Einstein once wrote, “is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it.” I may need to make a career shift. While in the UK I might see if there are any conservation jobs going or otherwise tutoring. I don't know though that I would cope with winter and the English weather - I would miss African soil and sunshine and my dogs!! We will see. For the moment I have the next couple of months mapped out for me and they should be exciting.

New Year's Day

Today has been a long first day of the year. I welcomed in 2015 with friends after an evening of board games and bananagrams. At midnight we lit sparklers and played Auld Lang Syne and danced around  my friends Lucy and John's lounge. We then became anti-social whilst messaging people and then bid each other Happy New Year and goodnight. On my way home I unfortunately hit a pot hole but luckily got home before finding I had a flat tyre. My first of January then involved sorting out getting a new tyre.

This afternoon we went to see a good family friend but she got news on her cancer test biopsy and it was not good. Suddenly makes life seem so much more fragile and precious and makes me realise you just never know what will come next. Our friend is being very stoic and we pray it has been caught in time and she will make a full recovery.

God has been good and I woke up to two possible tutoring jobs for the new year. One Grade 6 English and the other O Level Maths. I will also be helping the daughter of the man who cleans my Mum's classroom with maths.

I got a new year's whatsapp from one of my students who I taught under the Makomborero Project. I don't know that he has family but will try meet up with him in the new year. He has just finished his second year of university and it is nice to know that he is doing well. The Makomborero Project helped students who had done well to finish high school. All of the students came from disadvantaged backgrounds and many of them were orphans. It is nice to know that my student has done well and is pursuing his dreams.

Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you peace, joy and hope for the coming year. Thanks to everyone who helped me get through rough patches last year and for your concern and love. I deeply appreciate it!

Continuation of living in the now

We had a good friend home for Christmas from the UK. Sadly she discovered she has the early stages of breast cancer when she went to see her GP here. It has made me realise life is short and you don't know what will come your way. You need to live life to the fullest and seize every opportunity that comes your way. You also need to invest in time with friends and family as you never know when you may no longer have them.

Am sure our friend will make a full recovery but has been a bit of a curve ball.

Like the picture below. Is true, you must do what you love and not waste time doing what doesn't fulfil you.

Living in the Now

So it is starting to look like the coming year might be a year of travels and new things. I am quite excited. I am now thinking of doing a CELTA course in Cape Town and see friends and family there before going to Oxford in the spring. In between will be my dear friend Nina's wedding for which I am a bridesmaid. Excited for that too and helping with the peacock theme preparations and planning her kitchen tea/hen party.

Am looking towards these things as the first of January looms and I am currently unemployed. I will advertise to tutor though in between so that I earn my bread and butter. A teeny part of me worries that I might have let go of an opportunity at Peterhouse but I think it would have been very stressful and I don't know that I would be ready to teach on the 15th of January and a very heavy schedule at that. If I can eventually teach English as a second language it might be a more chilled environment and one on one might be better than big classes with lots of marking.

Haven't heard back about the university lecturing or about a part time job with WWF yet. Will see.

This morning at church there was a word to live in the now and not dwell on the past or get ahead of yourself into the future. There was also a call to look to the mountains when you are in deep valleys and see mountains as promising challenges to overcome and to do so with a servant mindset. Good to think on for the coming year ahead.

Christmas rain

Hot sultry days build cumulonimbus clouds and portent of rains
As the day reaches mid-day heat the sky grows an ominous inky slate grey blue
Thunder rolls and the air is close, all awaits
Thick, sloppy drops fall to the earth
Then all holds its breath, quickens and the drum roll of raindrops hits the tar
The earth hisses in appreciation of the life giving rain
The muddy earth gives off its distinctive scent
Flying ants drift up into the air, like fairies dancing in the rains
Another year's planting can take place, the rains have come
and so has Christmas time.