Coping on my own

My Mum has been away since Sunday with the grade sixes from the International School on what they call Explore Zimbabwe. They went to the Falcon Quest program and I think they will also be in Matopos. Usually she has gone to the Inganyana Painted Dog Project at Hwange.

We've had lots of prolonged power cuts and sitting on my own in the dark hasn't been fun. Opted for an early night mostly but had my dogs for company. Our elderly dog Pip is not doing so well with the hot weather and has suddenly become very frail and at times dehydrated. I borrowed a syringe from my next door neighbour and have been keeping him hydrated as much as I can. Relieved my Mum will be back tomorrow as I don't want to have to make the decision of whether to put him down or not.

Saw my therapist yesterday and I got quite emotional discussing my decision of not trying to make contact with my Dad whilst I'm in England. I feel I am only there for a short period and would rather not stir up things. I don't feel strong enough to face him still but talking about all of this made me quite upset. I do box it away though which my therapist pointed out is unhealthy. It seems to be both my Mum's and my own survival and coping strategy.

Summer is here in Harare. The jacarandas are coming out and the bougainvillea is a riot of colour. It is extremely hot, dusty and dry. Quite relieved to miss the worst of the heat in October when I am in England.