Runbo has a baby brother

Kicked off the morning with Ira today and it required a lot of patience and encouraging. Even to the point of putting the stumpy crayon in his hand and trying to get him to draw circles. Numbers wasn't so great with separating red from green objects into sets. It was mission to get him to draw the red set. For reading I'm not sure if anything went in as Ira wouldn't look at the new words. The most success was in the patterns work for writing. Tomorrow we'll be using a sand tray for practising writing.

I spoke to my supervisor and she's going to speak to Ira's parents about going to speech therapy clinics at Parirenyatwa and going to possibly get assessed for autism. To diagnose autism you seem to need to do a lot of observations.

Went from teaching to coffee with a friend and she introduced me to a cool website called Canva that you can use for graphic design. She also suggested trying to sell photos online. We talked about the ideas of postponing one's Christmas to when all the January sales are on and possibly going up Dombonshawa or Ngomokurira this weekend. The weekend of the 28th I've been invited to go to Hippo Pools which I'm looking forward to.

When I got to Runbo's this afternoon he ran up and grabbed my hand and said I must come see. His dad had set up a new generator as they had a power cut and don't usually have them. Runbo was ecstatic that this produced electricity. After we read the story on Chinese New Year Runbo announced he didn't feel like making a lantern today as I'd planned but we could make it tomorrow. Instead he went and got his dinosaurs and we had a long conversation about who was related to who. Through this Runbo told me he had a baby brother. I wasn't sure if it was true as he then said the name was a secret and it was his best friend. Turns out from his dad he does indeed now have a brother. I asked Runbo if he was excited to go on an aeroplane on Saturday and if he was going to take his dinosaurs with him. He looked at me and said he didn't think the aeroplane would allow him to bring them - oh! I told Runbo's dad that Runbo thought the new baby was the size of his little finger. Runbo chirped in, no he was the size of a peanut. I think Runbo is in for a surprise.

I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and overall he thinks I'm doing well. He weighed me again though and has decided to decrease my olanzapine in an effort to try bring my weight down. Hopefully I won't become paranoid or overly anxious. He said though that if I do I can always up the dose again.

Hope

Hope
As elusive as a dandelion seed.
When you look at a field of dandelions
do you see dreams or weeds?
Try to grasp hold of it,
where will you keep it stored?
Will you keep it close
or will it simply be ignored?
Hope is everlasting
so close your eyes and make a wish.

Slow internet Sunday

Went to church this morning for the first time in ages. I have gone to help with kids' church but otherwise not really for over a year. Am grateful that friends from church have not brought it up when I've met them for coffee and have just been supportive. I don't think I would be able to go back if they had been judgemental and pressed me on why I wasn't going. One friend in particular really showed God's heart when she made the dress I wore to my sister's wedding. I had been having a dress made by an outreach project for women who have been abused in Epworth. Unfortunately the measurements didn't fit and the dress I was supposed to have didn't work out. This was the day before we left for England. My friend met me for coffee that day and said if the dress didn't work out to not hesitate in contacting her, she made me promise to. I did and she miraculously made a beautiful dress in just 3 hours that fitted perfectly. She offered it as a gift even though we'd used her fabric and time. It really helped me in going over to England as I was not wanting to at the time.

After church I managed to speak to three speech therapists. Apparently there is a clinic offered at Parirenyatwa Hospital every Monday. It might be useful for Ira to go to this. I have looked up what the symptoms of autism are and I am a bit concerned that he displays these. I will need to speak to my supervisor and his parents and see if we can get him tested. Hope he doesn't have it.

Watched the film of The Girl on the Train. I don't particularly like that it is set in the Hudson Valley instead of the line from Ashbury to Euston. For thrillers it is sometimes not so great to have read the book before watching the film as you know exactly what's going to happen if the film follows the plot. I've been watching youtube clips of Glee covers when the internet allows it and really wish there was a fun choir to join in Harare that does feel good music. At church I was asked to be in a dance group for a Variety Show to raise funds for the less privileged. I think it will be line dancing. A friend sent the link for a free online photography course through Harvard and I've started watching the lecture videos. Is similar so far to a photography online course I was given for Christmas but it is helpful to watch rather than just read the information.

Glee

Reconnected with some friends at church which was nice as I've been feeling a bit cut off from people. Have coffee dates with some friends this week in between teaching. One friend wants me to paint a picture on a sub-station building. I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. Hoping I won't have to wait too long as I have Runbo after.

Fun and Games

Today was challenging. Ira went all rigid when he was brought through the gate to me and I had to coax and cajole him into the classroom. Eventually he was persuaded to help me with his numbers exercise and he did manage to do the writing exercises but reading and sounds were near impossible. I am not sure if the sounds in particular are because of his speech impediment. In between to try and get him to focus I got him to run around and do some stretches. At one point though he rolled into a ball and rocked backwards and forwards shouting. Am going to try meet with a speech therapist next week to get some tips and am researching on ADHD and what I can do.

With Runbo this afternoon we spoke about his little brother who will be born at the beginning of February. When I said to Runbo was he going to share things with his little brother he gave me a quizzical look. I said how about his dinosaurs. He went hmm and then after deep consideration said maybe not. He then started doing a mental audit of all his toys and said the motorbike was definitely a no and only he could play with his puppy. To put Runbo's mind at ease I did say well his little brother wouldn't be big enough for a year. Runbo then said oh his brother was going to be the size of his finger. Trying not to laugh I showed him how big roughly he would be and Runbo seemed really surprised. Next week we'll look at a book on Chinese New Year and make lanterns and dragons before he goes back to China with his dad and granny for it and for the arrival of the new baby.

Glad it's the weekend. I will have to do some lesson prep for Ira and for my Israeli businessman's English lessons starting next week. Otherwise I am enjoying Wuthering Heights and having finished reading The Girl on the Train I've managed to get the film. Am disappointed that the film is set in America but interested to see how they portray the story. Having coffee in Borrowdale tomorrow morning with friends and a friend's new baby which will be nice.

The issue of being childless & slightly exhausted

Today's lessons with Ira went better in that he didn't cry or howl like he did yesterday but he wasn't paying attention so it was a song and dance routine with a bit of bargaining over when he finished something he would be allowed to go play. He enjoyed sorting things into groups for numbers and he threw himself into the environmental science part on water where he could pour water into different containers and see its properties. When he first came to our classroom he did try to run away which I had a hunch he might do after yesterday but after that there were no bolts for the gate like yesterday - phew. At the end though it didn't feel like I only started this yesterday. Felt like it had been at least a week of it already.

Runbo was much gentler with his puppy this afternoon and his dad asked for tips on having a puppy. We spent a good part of the lesson in the garden. Next week will be my last week with Runbo before he goes to China for a month for Chinese New Year and to be with his mum who is there and about to have a baby brother for Runbo. The magic suitcase did captivate both Ira and Runbo and was a success.

Am feeling a bit like I am not part of the group with friends who have babies. I don't mind being with friends little ones but when the talk all shifts to child birth and comparing notes on babies it can be isolating. Have had people say when am I going to have a baby as if it is as simple as planning a party. I would like children but after a friend's experience with depression, pregnancy and medication I am wary. I wouldn't be able to be on lithium and that could really affect my mental health and being on other drugs while pregnant is risky. There's then also the consideration that if I had a child, would I be well enough to look after it. One would hope to be in a relationship and have support and not doing it on my own but as the mother it is a huge strain if you are not well mentally and have a child dependent on you. The other thing is that I could pass on the genes which predispose one to depression.

To have a baby the obvious thing is to have a partner which so far isn't happening. Should that happen it is also the financial cost which is not to be taken lightly. It would not be fair to my Mum to fall pregnant and be a single parent.

So for the short term it doesn't look likely just yet. I just wish some friends could appreciate this.

And so it began

Golly gosh there is a lot of prep work that goes into teaching Grade 1, especially when you teach reading, writing, phonics, comprehension, intro to maths, art, environmental science, social studies and religious education - phew. It's a lot more work that I had counted on. Got to the nursery school and headed to my shed classroom to set up. Ira came shortly after and our day began. Well we started with putting objects into groups of the same thing and then moved on to Janet and John (his first words to read). This was all going well until he suddenly started asking if he could go to his previous nursery school teacher's class instead. As we progressed with writing and then social studies this got worse to the point where he started crying. He then wanted to go to the loo. I had been warned this was a common ploy. I waited a bit till he seemed to be desperate. When he came back we made a little more progress but he then made a bolt to the gate going to the nursery school yard. I had to coax him back but we didn't get much further after that.

His nursery school teacher who is my supervisor said that she was pleased we made 2 hours with mini breaks. I have to just be firm and direct him back to what we're doing - not easy. I hope he will come willingly tomorrow. He did smile and wave at me when he joined the nursery school children at the end of the morning.

I have a magic suitcase that I am going to use with both Ira and Runbo tomorrow. It is painted green and gold and has glitter and stars on it. Will get things from it for different activities. I told Runbo I had a surprise for him tomorrow but he thought surprises meant presents so i said no, this was a magic suitcase. We'll see how that goes.

It looks like I'm going to be working pretty darn hard this term. I will have Ira my grade 1 in the mornings and then junior and high school students, Runbo my 4 year old and an Israeli businessman for English in the afternoons and evening. Will mean my days are pretty jam packed full. Will want downtime at the weekend but will need to do some housework. Bit dull and boring.

Back to Grade 1

Well in the mornings I will be teaching a little boy called Ira following the government correspondence course. Unfortunately his parents only got the syllabus from the ministry this morning so for the last few hours post teaching Runbo, I've been frantically reading everything and then getting objects together for counting and cutting out pictures of Janet and John and sticking them on cardboard, along with cutting out word flashcards. It's a lot of work and I am plunging in the deep end. Glad I just have one student and don't have to do this for over 20. I learned to read with Janet and John and Dick and Sally so it is a memory jerker of a bygone time. It is a bit ironic that they still use these characters as in the blurb to the teachers the ministry belabours the point that the correspondence school was once only for whites but now is for everyone. Perhaps Chido and Rudo might be a more modern take.

Along with reading and writing, I also have to do environmental science, social studies, religious education and home economics. I had thought I was just doing reading and writing but the other units aren't too long and sort of tie in with learning reading and writing. I'm afraid I am not volunteering to teach Shona. Sadly after learning it for 9 years at school I can't understand the basic instructions for the teacher. I think it would be better if Ira's parents could take that on.

I am now being paid in bond notes for some of my teaching which I am not that happy about. You can at least buy most things with them but it is a problem for my medication which the pharmacy will only accept US dollars in cash for - not even the option of paying by card. It also makes it difficult if you want to go out of the country. Some imported products are beginning to disappear from supermarket shelves. Feels like over Christmas we all forgot about it and were merry but now with January we feel the bite again.