Basically she challenged me to see my reasoning objectively and in light of the fact that I'm basically now unemployed and a job is a job and this one could potentially be a really good one if I give it a chance. I think the biggest problem is I'm afraid and I'm scared of what might happen if I get depressed and am away from my support umbrella. She bluntly said Marondera is not far and I would cope if I had to and I need to be independent and making a career for myself. This does make me think what sort of career am I really angling at. Teaching suddenly seemed so much more appealing all over again, but I know I would have issues with some of what that would entail and might not be totally happy that way. There aren't any teaching positions going currently though, which my doctor pointed out.
I would have a 3 month probation period which would be in my favour I guess if it really didn't go well and would give me a way out. Deep down I fear of getting trapped into it and then feeling I am a failure if I give it up having started. I have hangovers from Switzerland and think this could go the same way. My psych did remind me this is not Switzerland and is very different and I can't fail when I haven't even started and I haven't given it a chance.
Change unsettles me though and I don't get out of my comfort spot easily. I can be obstinate and cling on to what is familiar at all cost. I also hate making big life decisions.
Going to meet again with the employers, discuss things, iron out uncertainties and have clear idea of what they want and what they expect and then weigh it up and make my final decision as best I can. Any prayers that it will be for the best would not go unappreciated. Thanks in advance.
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