Assertiveness and a rather poorly Pip

Well it was back to reality today in more ways than one. I started with the home school at 8 o'clock this morning. Still need to work out how many hours I'm teaching. They can't really afford the hourly rate but we need to agree on a time table. It is a source of income for the mornings but the lesson preparation and marking time need to be taken into account. I have some private students that I  wish to continue with. It does mean though I am occupied in the mornings which is good as I can feel at a loose end without structure to my day. Just need to strike the right balance with how many students I take on.

After teaching I moved home from cat sitting. Our elderly jack russell cross fox terrier Pip is suddenly deteriorating again which is a bit upsetting. He is in a worse state than he was back in October when he previously took a dip. Our next door neighbour who unfortunately only has part time work kindly looked after Pip while my Mum and I were at work.

Last day cat sitting

The friend I have been cat sitting for gets back tomorrow lunch time. I will miss having virtually no power cuts, being able to watch DSTV and having the company of the cats I have been looking after, Ginger and Missy. I have also made a friend, the house keeper Evermore's little girl Kudzi. Together with the kitties we have gone on botanical expeditions around the garden with the agenda of also giving Ginge and Missy some exercise. Will also miss listening to the new Adele cd my Sister gave me for Christmas on surround sound in Vee's car.

Ginger

Missy

Kudzi

Tomorrow I am also supposed to start at the home school. Need to come to some sort of an agreement though as I need to do other teaching to survive financially and it is still not clear which subjects I will be teaching and my time table. I have been reading the syllabus for teaching environmental management and it would appear that you can't take it under Cambridge as a private student. This could be a problem for the plan to teach my Dutch student via Skype. It's an interesting syllabus though and I will need to brush up on some of the geo aspects of it. Am going to have to stand my ground in negotiating on conditions and salary with the home school as I could technically earn more with private tutoring.

Seen friends whilst house sitting and caught up with people which has been nice. One friend is potentially leaving Zim though which is sad. Makes me think about the fact that I need to be earning enough here to live independently which I am not. Like my friend though I don't really want to leave.

Elephante and Chinese opera

Sassoleone in Italy

Walked to Avondale shops just now to get some groceries and buy a postcard to send to my host family that I stayed with when I was WOOFing (Working on Organic Farms) in Sassoleone in Italy. They now live in Germany. It is a tradition that I send an elephant. I must say there were not many recently printed postcards to choose from and some looked decidedly dated. I tried Avondale Bookshop and then Art Attack. Could maybe as a business venture print and sell some newer photos. I guess though there isn't a thriving tourism market here.

Avondale is full of contrasts. There are all the newly established supermarkets and restaurants such as The Food Lovers Market and Pick'n'Pay and then Ocean Basket and Simply Asia. The parking area is a mess though and full of pot holes. You also get accosted by beggars who all seem pretty desperate but you just can't help everyone and we're all struggling at the moment. Walking back to the flat on Argyll I was asked to donate towards fixing the pot holes. It is commendable that people try to fix them but they invariably don't do a very good job with just bricks and soil and it is really the municipality and government who should be doing it - but if one waits for that you will have craters I suppose.

This morning I taught Runbow's Mum. Runbow is not enjoying being separated from his parents in the morning when he goes to nursery school at Sharon, shame. Hope it becomes easier for him. For the lesson today we looked at a short biography on Maria Callas the opera singer. I asked if there is opera in China and was told there is traditional Chinese opera but sadly it is dying out as fewer and fewer people want to train in it. Maria Callas' mother sounded a bit of a tiger mum. We talked about this too and about the book by Amy Chua. I noticed that my student was not using the past tense correctly. Apparently though there is only one tense in Chinese. There is masculine and feminine but they are pronounced the same which explained why Yalin was sometimes not using she and her.

Popped home to see my fur babies Jasper and Elsie who were pleased to see me, with Elsie bringing me a leaf as a present. I miss them. Have a friend coming round for tea after work but I must get back to reading the Cambridge AS syllabus for environmental management.

Numb versus Pain

Saw my psych today and it was a better session. She felt I was being more pro-active in seeking work and was keeping myself busy. My mood has been pretty stable over Christmas with no major dips. I did tell her though that it feels like I'm numb to things and I feel a little indifferent to what previously might have made me react. It makes deciding what I really want to do difficult. She said that this is partly what mood stabilisers do and is a good thing. I do agree I don't miss the terrible lows but I do in a way miss the highs. My doctor did point out the highs come with the lows.

I told my doctor about my friend having a baby and she asked me if I want children. I replied well wouldn't want to be a single mother and I can't currently afford to have children. She said I didn't sound that keen. I think I would but need to be in the right place. I told her I might regret not having them but it's not something to go through without thinking it through but I guess the clock is ticking. She did say that being on lithium doesn't mean I can't. I just would need to switch medication preferably before falling pregnant. To clarify I'm not about to fall pregnant!

I then had a meeting with the home school that's keen to have me teach. I have a student who wants to do AS Level environmental management. He is going back to the Netherlands so I will be teaching him over Skype which will be interesting. There are some O Level students that I will start with on Monday morning.

Trying to Trust

January is progressing at a fast rate and I'm trying different avenues of what I am going to do this year. Unfortunately I didn't get the librarian position I was hoping for. Teaching seems to be what I will be doing but need to actively seek out students. My other back burner is to get on and try write. Want to share on my experience of overcoming bipolar depression and my rather disastrous end to my PhD in Switzerland. Also could write about my relationship with my Dad and I need to work on trying to come to the point of forgiving him.

Everyone else seems to be motoring ahead on career paths and doing something meaningful with their lives. A whole lot of people have just got engaged too and others have just had babies. Another area that seems far off for me. Had dinner with school friends last night and the one said maybe chemistry is not everything and I should go with the steadfast friend. Hmmm, food to think on.

I possibly need to make myself more open to the idea of taking bigger leaps of faith and get out of my comfort zone. See my psych on Wednesday. Will see what her take on all this is. Last time she upset me by challenging me that I hide behind my bipolar and don't really push myself in job applications.

New Year, New Beginnings

Well like it or not we're into 2016 and January is whizzing away already. Today was my last lesson with Runbow, my three year old Chinese student. We made dinosaurs and oreo biscuits out of play dough and read The Gingerbread Man once more. I will pick up with Runbow's mum again next week when Runbow starts nursery school but it will only be once a week.

Went from Runbow's to Printworks to follow up on my business cards. They managed to print them by this afternoon and I took some to the Chinese Embassy where the receptionist promised to give them out to Chinese diplomats. I will also try take some to the Oriental Learning Centre in Borrowdale.

Went to visit my very pregnant friend at lunch and we sat out in the garden in the shade. It is very hot again and no sign of rain. Was a bit distressed that the Chinese Embassy had their sprinklers going in the middle of the day for their verge with half the water flowing away down the road.

I went from lunch to an interview with someone who is setting up a home school. It would be for early high school level but also offers life skills. They still need more students but I was told they are interested in hiring me.

If you are interested in the home school, see below.

Are you looking for a home school that takes into account your child's needs?  A place that believes in your child's potential and helps them to reach their goals with ease.  Then do get in touch.  We follow the Cambridge O Level Syllabus offering a vast array of practical hands on experiences to ensure a holistic learning experience that prepares them for life.  Based in Mount Pleasant and catering to children ages between 9 and 13.  For a full prospectus please email: jacqu344@gmail.com or phone-whatsup 0773913702

Overcoming failure and mental hygiene

Watched the TED talk below and it struck a note with what my psychiatrist had said to me just after I got back from Oxford. She suggested that I hide behind being bipolar and don't go for things full out and give it my all in applying for jobs. I felt defensive and did feel I do try but I think I am still haunted by the sense of failure after having to stop my PhD in Switzerland in 2010. In this TED talk it speaks on the power of negative thinking. It is not easy to regain confidence and to not under esteem yourself after a massive blow.

Having gone through discovering I am bipolar and the major ups and downs of getting treated I am wary of going into a highly stressful work environment again. Whilst I'd like something stimulating, I would rather steer clear of high stress. I have been applying for things here and keep trying to otherwise think of things I could do self-employed. I guess I could possibly find work more easily outside of Zim but I have my support network here and don't really want to leave. I suppose it is my conundrum and something I've got to solve and make changes for. I know I'm stubborn though and don't like change.