And it's only the second day ...

Starting on Tuesday has thrown me as to what day of the week today is. I am now home schooling my original two in the morning and also starting grade 1 by correspondence with my Chinese five year old before he goes back to China in March. In between these two rather heavy commitments (I teach one set in the morning and then my five year old from 1.30 for three hours) I have to fit in my Chinese ten year old for French and have yet to hear from my form four (he contacted me about the accounts text book I suggested last term but has yet to start on tutoring). I had forgotten how much prep work grade one is. At least I am semi familiar with it from last year and this year's student should be easier.

Saw a friend today who also teaches English as a second language and I am going to meet with her next week to discuss teaching online as that is what I will do with my five year old when he is in China. Apparently it is not so easy to use Skype in China. I may have to develop an educational blog or record lessons and upload them. Will see. Another friend of mine is working on developing online material for children studying for Cambridge high school exams by distance learning. Apparently there is a course offered by Edinburgh University focusing on online learning and developing materials for it. The friend I saw today also gave me an invitation to go to her workshop on Nia on Saturday morning. Hopefully I don't have to jump around as my ankle is still tender. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. Went to the Well Woman Clinic this morning and I may have to up my lithium around the time I get PMS. Apparently it is not uncommon to get heightened bipolar rage then. Was told that I now have to start having a battery of other tests done yearly - the joys of being a woman!

What with the Nia workshop, a friend's farewell, going back to Market Square and seeing another friend, this weekend is looking fairly busy. Will need to also fit in lesson preparation now and try get ahead for the week. Went to a pub quiz last night and the last round was on Zimbabwe politics post the 14th November last year. Knew a couple of the twenty questions but am afraid the vast majority I didn't - I probably should though. Really hoping I can register to vote in time once I've sorted out my ID on Sunday.

La Rentrée

Yesterday's two year old birthday party was a success. I went early to help and was served a chilled G&T and given the task of wrapping the pass-the-parcel and hiding Freddo frogs between the layers of paper. I chose to do this rather than blow up balloons as I have a slight phobia of balloons popping in my face. It ended up being a massive parcel but I think the two year olds had fun. It was a glorious summer's afternoon and we were able to be outside in the garden under the trees. There was a massive bougainvillea tree (yes a tree - unusual) in full blossom. I was the semi official photographer and snapped away as the children bounced on the jumping castle and played with balloons. My friend Lucy had made an impressive Pepper Pig dinosaur cake. It was all over fairly quickly, well after two and half hours - but it felt quick. A few of us remained afterwards and we sat and drank port and enjoyed the evening light and first pin pricks of stars. There was an amazing perigee moon the other night, don't know if anyone saw it.

Had a fairly productive morning so far today getting ready for the proper start of school tomorrow. I am still not 100% sure how many pupils I will have but am prepping for those I know I will have. I have my Chinese five year old this afternoon. Going to read Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy and look at different types of dogs. Will also do a bit more on holidays as he has just been to Nyanga. Last week he surprised me with another big dinosaur name - Masiakasaurus from Madagascar! He now knows more about dinosaurs than I do which is fantastic. He is also starting to tell jokes in English which are funny and I am thrilled as that is a big step in language acquisition.

Have personal training just now. Put it off last week as it was the last bit of my sister and brother-in-law's stay and my ankle was still sore. Have warned my trainer I am still a bit wary of putting too much weight on it - will see what I do today. Do need to do some exercise after Christmas though.

Well that was easy Market Square

So I trundled off to Market Square this morning with my friend Lynda as had heard you can process IDs and birth certificates on Sundays there. Dead right and wow, what a breeze it was - and FREE! I needed to process getting another birth certificate first and they pulled out the file with my details in like a piece of cake and it was all done in 5 minutes - amazing!! Lynda managed to collect her birth certificate, have the correction on her mother's birth place made (they had put Smith - I think as in Ian Smith, instead of Rhodesia) and process her ID from start to new ID card (yes, not paper!) in an hour. What a pleasure and I didn't even have to use the rather stinky public loo - phew. I will have to go back next Sunday to get my birth certificate and then do my ID but at this rate I may just get it done in time to register to vote, fingers crossed. Wish I'd known about doing it on a Sunday before now.

Went for a celebratory coffee (at this point I was in desperate need of caffeine - I started craving it at 8 am) and cheesecake at Classic Desserts. We had done great things in terms of home affairs all before 9:30 on a Sunday - not bad going, not bad going at all. Usually you could sit in the same queue for the better part of a day - and might have to use those smelly loos. Not sure how easy it is to get a Zim passport now that you're allowed dual citizenship but for the moment my birth certificate and ID will do if I am still able to register to vote.

It's a beautiful day with clear blue skies - I get on a bit of high on days like these. Heading off just now to help my friend Lucy set up for her son Philippe's second birthday. I am technically his god-mother. It's a good day for a garden party, may need to take a hat.

Le ciel s’éclaircit aujourd’hui. Profitez du soleil!

Therapy helped yesterday. I think we will go into my anger management and triggers more next time but was good to offload and we didn't prod too deeply yesterday. I will try go to the Well Woman Clinic to see about how to reduce the spikes with PMT. Vitamin B jabs might be a solution and apparently evening primrose or a diuretic. Anything would be good right now and preferably something other than just going up onto a high dose of lithium but I need to see my psychiatrist too. But I came out of therapy yesterday fairly happy and it didn't stir up everything too much.

Went out to dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and some friends as it was their last night here. We had hoped to go to Chang Thai but you apparently have to book two days in advance for a Friday seating. Instead we went to Fish Monger but they were rather low on stock as shipments of fish were apparently sitting in Rusape (of all places). It was enjoyable nonetheless and I said goodbye to Beth and Andrew last night as there wasn't space in the car to go with to the airport this morning.

Am getting going with lesson prep for next week as school starts properly then. With my Chinese five year old I think we'll get into the world of Beatrix Potter. We did a giant floor puzzle with all her characters on it last lesson and I showed him the video clip below which he enjoyed. I showed him the new film Peter Rabbit trailer and he said "No more please" to that! Trying to decide what I'm going to do with my French Chinese student.

Tomorrow morning I might go with a friend to Market Square in town to try sort out my birth certificate and ID (have lost both and need replacements). If it goes smoothly could possibly try register to vote in this year's elections as aliens are allowed to vote now (people on foreign passports but who were born here). Hoping the queues won't be horrific.

Otherwise need to look through my photos for pictures I've taken over the years of the house of friends on the ridge in Avondale. They have sold it and are moving back to Poland which is sad. Have lots of good memories from my childhood playing there and then of house sitting over the past seven years.

A tad apprehensive

«Troubled soul don't lose your heart

'Cause joy and peace he brings

And the beauty that's in store

Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

There will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place,

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always»

(Jeremy Camp, There will be a day)

I see my therapist at 4 today. It's the first time I've seen her in close on a year as haven't needed to. We will be discussing what transpired a week ago when I got really angry and was locked out by my family. My mum said some very hurtful things that I probably need to process. I think she sees my dad in me when I get that angry and it scares her. My psychiatrist is away and has a locum. I might try go see my previous doctor as she knows my family history and my triggers well. So yah, quite a lot to work through today. I am doing ok now but am a teeny bit manic and a tad ultra sensitive to comments people pass. My friend Sharon wants to film this afternoon. It could be interesting.

I really enjoyed the exhibition Panacea yesterday at Sorellas. Go along if you can, it's worth seeing. Tanyse Van Vuuren, one of the exhibiting artists had written a beautiful piece on emotional expression. I quote her "As humans we often shy away or are unsure of how to identify and deal with or process negative emotions. They are uncomfortable and at times too painful to feel - but our very healing is in finding the freedom to identify the spectrum of emotions, to dignify every human emotion and give expression to them somehow. ... Emotions, I have learned are our helpers - they help us identify with one another in our humanity, and they will, if we engage with the process, help us to feel our way to them and through them into a new way of thinking and being."

My step-mum in England messaged me this morning to say she gathers my dad is planning on moving back to Zim. This is not good news to me I'm afraid as Harare is such a small place I am likely to encounter him and have to deal with him. He still doesn't take medication for bipolar and is extremely erratic. I message my dad on whatsapp but am happy to only interact in this way. I am not sure I am ready for him to be a bigger presence in my life again, sad as it sounds.

Today is my sister and brother-in-law's last day in Zim. I think they have enjoyed it even though they didn't in the end manage to really get out of Harare. We happened to ask to my brother-in-law if he would consider visiting again and he immediately answered no - I think he was joking but am not sure :P He definitely has found it a culture shock being here and taking in the decay of infrastructure and services but am hoping Zim may have soaked into him and he did enjoy his time nonetheless. They definitely have had better weather here than back home although they did miss the snow. I have been looking back at some of my photos from my time in Switzerland and my experiences in the snow. I made some good memories and friends there.

Hidden Truths

In beauty there is pain.
Does the pain make you more aware?
There is a price, it cuts deep.
Under the surface the discomfort seeps.
Old wounds that are rubbed raw.
Do they ever heal? They're still sore.
But to achieve grace and make it look easy
you suppress it, cover it, grin and bear it.

These feet have known so much.
Moulded and tortured in the name of art.
They have a story of their own,
each blister, lost toe nail, callous, bruise.
It is unnatural but a dream
each little girl clings to
as with her body to the music she sings to.

Things that make my heart melt

Bit of a mix of emotions today. A good friend is leaving in a couple of weeks which is sad but hey I can visit her in Taunton next time I go to the UK. But will miss her. Am quite upbeat otherwise. Might see my therapist in the next day or so. Went to paint rocks at Phoenix Lodge this morning. It is good to know such a facility exists for people with mental health challenges. My mum threatens me with Ward 12 which sounds diabolical and out of the Victorian nightmare asylum horror stories. It has been good to see other people who have walked similar paths to my own and who just get me. A friend has lent me Paolo Coelho's biography which looks good. Funny quote from today "Barney is not the same dinosaur, there's a different person inside." I really thought that was hilarious.

Started back to teaching my five year old on Tuesday. He came running to the gate to let me in and had made me a card with a frangipani flower stuck on. He had got his mom to write "Dear Miss Kity (spelling intended), thank you for teaching me" and it was all his own initiative apparently. Really made my day and is what makes me love my job. A friend also hand made me a glass as a present and that also was special. Otherwise, my family had thought of going to Vic Falls and then Nyanga for a couple of days. I would have stayed behind as I am teaching but in the end plans didn't come together so they have been in Harare. Have done a bit of a coffee shop tour with them and went out to Kiki's and Patrick Mavros. Also went to Chapungu Kraal and Doon Estate. I need to stop spending as I bought a book at Kiki's and then a sculpture at Chapungu - eeeek. The artist at Chapungu who sculpted my carving is keen for me to go teach art out there as he said they would all like to improve their drawing and in exchange I could maybe learn sculpture. Will see, it's a bit of a trek out there but it is tempting. The sculptors were really nice people.

We had milkshakes at Veldemeer's at Doon Estate and a bowl of Belgian pommes frittes. We had just finished when a vervet monkey with her tiny baby clinging to her hopped on our table as we were still sitting there. She confidently picked up the unfinished tomato sauce dish and started happily licking it out. My brother in law caught this in an amazing photo where he also captured my sister's facial expression - I have asked for a copy but they won't give it to me as they know it will go up on social media :P But it is priceless!! The monkey then ran off with the bowl and I went after her. After trying to negotiate with her she did put it down but then started advancing towards me in a menacing way and I chickened out and backed off. Eventually we got the bowl back but it was definitely entertaining.

My really good friend is back on her vacc from film school in the States and I have volunteered for her to film me as she follows me around for a day. It could be interesting, although I am pondering what she will capture - did say loo visits and getting dressed were off limits. We're going to a print art exhibition opening at Sorella's Pizzeria tonight which my friend Ashleigh Donn is putting on with a friend.