Well if I had gone overseas I would be in France right now. There is a part of me that regrets not going and wonders if I should have just stepped out in faith that I could do it. I don't know though that I would have been able to have taught biology, maths, science and English to non-English speakers everyday and coped with the work load. It would have amounted to 8 hours of teaching a day with each lesson being 2 hours long. In some ways the other job I had been offered where I would have taught English only in the mornings and then gone on excursions with the students in the afternoons would have been more manageable and realistic. Taking on English for academic and specific purposes was ambitious of me when I had only just done CELTA.
I have contacted my psychologist and trying to get an appointment. Will see my therapist this week on Friday. I want to have my anti-depressants reviewed as I am getting more and more frequent big dips. My psychologist is reluctant to change my medication. I may try get permission to get a second opinion from a psychologist friends of mine go to. Changing meds will be quite a big thing as will have to be weaned off what I'm currently on. Might mean I have to go into hospital again which I don't really want but if it means my moods can stabilise and I don't have to face such desperate lows it may be worth it.
Here are a whole bunch of quotes I found that I can relate to.
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