Pushing through

Am getting there with preparation for the coming term. Need to finish thinking of writing topics and exercises and then tackle the Zimbabwe focused environmental science and social studies section. Really hoping I don't get any unexpected things sprung on me at Monday's staff meeting. Oh, I do also need to plan some P.E. lesson ideas as I have to take that as well. Have one idea of drawing out a tic tac toe board on the tennis court and getting the students into two teams, then getting them to run and put bean bags on the drawn board in a relay (not my idea - I saw it online). But yah will have to cater for different abilities and different ages within the class.

Had a catch up with one of my best friends this morning and was given some useful hacks at tackling mountains of marking (I am dreading that, I won't lie and am reluctant to kiss my social life goodbye, sigh). Went to personal training this afternoon and really pushed myself in the AMRAP (as many reps as possible - in a set time). Training has definitely gone up a level but it is rewarding to feel my fitness is improving and it is paying off.

After training I had a long discussion with my trainer on christianity. She is JW and I was challenged on my thoughts on whether there is hell, what heaven means, why we celebrate Christmas and Easter and birthdays, the trinity and why there is suffering. Good for me to think about what I truly believe and why.

Silk worms online

Had a good start to the day this morning with personal training. I do enjoy my sessions and am being pushed to a new level but surprising myself that I can do it. My last round included full Turkish get ups, burpees and jumping jacks - felt good afterwards, if possibly not at the time :P My personal trainer has become a good friend over the last year and I had a nice cup of tea and chat afterwards.

My Chinese five year old had something exciting to show me today. He emerged from his tipi in the lounge and took the tablet across the room to show me his new box of silk worms. Ironically they had to order them online in China and have to buy the mulberry leaves from pet shops. He didn't want me to tell him what they will turn into as he wants the surprise. He has been off school sick with an allergy to the pollution. Really does sound like pollution levels are bad.

Cracking on now with my lesson plan and preparation. I need to finish off the phonics/spelling (not beginner Jolly Phonics sort of level but higher with an emphasis on spelling rules and pronunciation) and then work on language and grammar and creative writing. Have a book with great ideas for story writing but can't find it right now, grrr (had it last year). I suddenly also discovered my students were also doing environmental science/social studies with a focus on Zimbabwe last term (eeek - glad I discovered it now) - so have to find stuff for that too. I offered (stupid me) to finish updating the reading records. So yah, I better get on - lots to do still.

Have looked over the HIFA program. If you want to have a look go here. Think will mostly go to music things, although there is a fascinating looking play called Hedy! The Life and Inventions of Hedy Lamarr. Time wise I unfortunately can't do too much. We have booked to go to Johnny Clegg's final tour show at Raintree on Friday night (unfortunately clashes with Beatenberg who I would have liked to have watched).

OK back to work while I drink one of the delicious teas a friend gave me from Germany.

A fairly productive Monday

Got messaged today to be told that my first staff meeting is next Monday (gulp, but it will help me to plan better when I know what my time table is exactly). School doesn't start until the following week though but I think I am going to be going into my classroom a fair deal next week. I have sort of devised what I'm doing for the content subject. It is going to be tricky though as they have chosen to do life cycles but they want me to not use the term reproduction, especially sexual reproduction, in my lessons as they don't feel the students are mature enough to handle it. We are to still do plant reproduction though and I'm supposed to differentiate between pollination compared to taking cuttings i.e. sexual vs asexual. The biologist in me is crying noooo!

Have had quite a few lessons on Zoom with my Chinese five year old. Today we were talking about electric eels. His dad has come back from China as he has a business here and I saw him at the weekend and he said my student wanted him to write a letter to me saying he wants me to go to China. My student may be back in July when he has holidays - hope so, as I do miss him. He has been sitting in a giant tipi in his lounge in China when he has had his last few lessons so I also told him about native Americans.

Went to Belvedere Clinic today to find out about a psychiatric nurse for people who can't afford to see a psychiatrist. Turns out they have this facility already and she can prescribe medication and dispense it. This is great news for people in my support group who are not on medical aid and who have to think twice about going to see a psychiatrist because of the cost (one session is anywhere from US$150 normally). I also have finally got a hold of a copy of the film Loving Vincent. Really wanting to watch it. Am hoping to try organise a screening of it as a fundraiser for mental health.

My thoughts are in Nottingham today

Today my thoughts are far away in England where my good friend Heather is getting married. I really wish I could have been there for it but unfortunately I just couldn't do it financially, with getting a replacement for our car. I wish her and her husband Tom every happiness and a really special day and will be there in spirit. I wish distances weren't so far and travel not as expensive.

Instead I must tackle more work in preparation for next term. I have an ever growing pile of stuff to get through. Today and tomorrow I need to wade through the science/content stuff on the school lap top and put together my weekly plans. I don't know if I would have managed being away these school holidays with all the prep I have to do. I guess if I had known though I would have made a plan.

There are two rangers from Gonorhezhou running the London Marathon tomorrow to raise funds for rhino conservation. If you'd like to know more have a read on Gonarezhou Rangers Running for Rhinos. Have a look out for them tomorrow if you're watching the marathon.

OK, I must get back to my mound of work.

Bob-less Birthday

Today is Zimbabwe's 38th Independence Day and the first Bob-free one in a long time. Just seen an article on how much ZANU PF is spending on propaganda for the upcoming elections, when there are hospitals without the basics such as oxygen. Still such a need for accountability.

I did a Zimbabwe birthday themed lesson with my Chinese five year old today in honour of Independence. He liked the sound clips of lions (he does keep calling them tigers) and hippos. He got a bit fractious at the end of the lesson doing his reading so I played him the Beetles "Yellow Submarine" which cheered him up no end, and he drew me some submarines on the screen.

Hit a bit of a low again. Think it's a combination of forgetting to up my lithium PMT and then riding on waves of feeling like I'm coping and then not, with what I have to still do before term starts. I think I am semi on top of things but putting together plans for phonics and grammar is a little challenging without a real syllabus to follow. Am going back into school tomorrow to get the topics for the content subject. With it getting chillier all I want to do is hibernate.

Braaing in the Dark

Managed to make all my salads on Monday night. Had laid everything out for the braai when the heavens decided to open. I think having a braai seems to be a good form of rain dance. Had to come up with plan B, using a covered braai at the back but it was a little overgrown with creeper. I also assumed the light outside worked, turned out it didn't, so it was a bit of a challenge. Attempted to get the fire going but I need to learn a bit more in the art of laying the tinder and wood. Friends came to the rescue - I think I missed the fire making badge when I did Girl Guides.

Today the work starts in earnest, preparing for next term. Coming up with a syllabus for phonics and grammar is a bit of a challenge. I am going to search the Times Educational Supplement site for ideas and try come up with things. Still toying with doing NILD next holidays but my gut feeling is it is going to be heavy to take that on at the end of term, next year might be a better idea.

Went to art this morning. I nearly went back to bed but glad I pushed myself to get up and get going. We did a roulette of picking a landscape photo from a turned over pile and painting one out of four, trying to make it a dramatic picture. Sarah gave tips on different ways your could make it dramatic, for instance, using different brush strokes, changing the perspective, use of colour and line. I did something a bit different to my usual but loved slapping on thick oil paint and playing with my underlying colour. I think I enjoy landscapes and portrait work best. My friend in Australia sent a cool quote, "A painting is never finished ... it simply stops in interesting places". I have trouble knowing when to stop. I managed to get oil paint on my face and gave myself a red Hitler moustache which spread. Didn't know I had one till Sarah said had I looked in the mirror recently.

Just taught my five year old. He has decided to say when he is rubbing something out with an eraser he is rub-a-dub-dubbing it. Thought that was really cute. Glad he remembers the nursery rhyme I taught him. Yesterday he made my day. He has a map of the world with pictures on it in the English book we are using. Without prompting he pointed to Egypt on the map and said that's what it was as he could see a pyramid. It is a while since we talked about pyramids and his mum admitted she didn't know that was what they were called. Very gratifying, he is a bright button.

Just got an email from my five year old's mum with this picture saying he says the neighbours are nosy. (We did Mr Nosy from the Mr Men books). Am thrilled he has grasped what nosy means.

Article on Depression

Here is an article I have drafted on depression for a local publication here in Harare. Feedback welcome.

My struggle with bipolar actually began in high school but in those days (back in the ‘90’s) it was not as readily diagnosed as it is now and my family doctor here in Harare kept saying there was nothing wrong with me and I must pull myself together. I consequently progressed through the rest of my teenage years and early twenties experiencing highs and lows, but telling myself I didn’t have depression. I did know that my dad had major mood swings and it was always there at the back of my mind that this might be hereditary.

A good school friend had to be hospitalized just after high school following a failed suicide attempt and visiting her in her private hospital room I saw what it was like to be put on medication and it scared me. She was very groggy and even on new pills seemed incredibly down. I told myself I would be fine and went off to university in South Africa and then Switzerland. The rocky period of 2008 in Zimbabwe was a trigger to setting me off on manic phases and I became paranoid and overly hyped on the news coming from Zimbabwe. Those around me noticed my erratic behavior and found me difficult to handle. I tried to quell these emotions and turbulence by simply taking rescue remedy but my moods were now soaring from extreme highs to devastating lows and I was suicidal more than once.

My breaking point was in Switzerland in 2010. I had embarked on an overly ambitious PhD and almost a year in I had a break down. I asked where I could go to get medical help and I was admitted to a hospital. Ultimately it was decided I should return home to Zimbabwe as I was not in a fit state to continue studying. My mum accompanied me on the flight home and I came back and was immediately admitted to another hospital. Whilst my psychiatrist in Zimbabwe was far more attentive to sorting out putting me on a right course of medication and monitored my progress more closely than in Switzerland, I found the nursing staff at the hospital I was in simply could not grasp what depression was. They kept asking me what was wrong with me, and seeing no physical ailment, could not understand why I was in hospital. This was not helpful and I feel there is a great need for this to be remedied. There is still so much stigma around mental health.

I am doing a lot better now and am finally on medication that seems to keep me on a much more even keel. It has taken eight years to reach this point and it is still a journey. Medication has made me put on a lot of weight and even on it, I still have my bad days. I would love to see the taboo around mental illness tackled and for people to be able to seek help more freely and not feel ashamed. It is important as it could help prevent suicides and build a healthier society all round. Zimbabweans are familiar with referring to October as “Suicide Month”. According to the World Health Rankings in 2014, Zimbabwe had the twentieth highest suicide rate in the world. In Shona the word closest to depression is kufungisisa meaning “to think too much”.

Things that have helped me

• ·      Seeking medical help and taking my medication
• ·      Keeping mood charts or in touch with how I am feeling
• ·      Journaling and blogging (a blog helps you tell people how you are feeling without forcing them to read it)
• ·      Finding others who also experience depression and sharing with them. I have started a Facebook group Unquiet Minds.
• ·      Telling myself that my really bad days are chemical imbalances and they too shall pass. Remind yourself there are better days ahead. Not always easy though.
• ·      Going for therapy or having friends that get you and hear you out without judgement.
• ·      Listening to feel good music, doing art or craft. Knitting is supposed to be good.
• ·      Doing some form of cardiovascular exercise.
• ·      Mindfulness, spirituality, meditation, grounding and breathing exercises.
• ·      Getting up and getting out of the house.
• ·      Getting enough sleep if you can and routine.
• ·      Having structure to your day.
• ·      Having a pet (they understand you and love you no matter what).

There are now more mental health facilities available in Harare and The Friendship Bench is a great option to help reach those who cannot afford to see a psychiatrist and therapist regularly. Places where people can go for help are The First Step, Phoenix Lodge, Halfway House and The Friendship Bench. There is also a private Facebook group called Unquiet Minds where fellow sufferers offer each other support and encouragement.