Super lune bleue de sang

After hearing all about tonight's lunar phenomena I discovered we weren't actually going to see the eclipse in this part of world and it turns out to be cloudy tonight, sigh - but we need the rain. I did tell both Chinese students about it though and my French student replied "Du sang? Je suis terrifié!" He does love to be dramatic. Somehow he got onto the topic of the film Beauty and the Beast. I happened to say my cousin helped sew the yellow dress. Well this blew his mind and he asked if my cousin was famous. I think his esteem of me went up ten notches because I am related to my cousin and we had a had a hard time getting back to the passé composé and verbs you conjugate with être. Having to re-think how to do reading with my grade 1. He really isn't interested and the promise of starting to read a real book if he remembers the words we have done so far just doesn't excite him. He is more interested in writing than reading. I am surprised as I thought he would be more eager to read.

This is not tonight's but played it to my French student to explain what an eclipse is and a perigee moon.

Finding ticks on me again after squelching through another wetland at lunchtime. Sadly it is already having roads carved into it but they have water flooding them as the underlying soils are typical wetland ones and they are water logged. We saw all sorts of wetland birds and there were lots of different sedges. Took my proper camera this time as when I relied on my new phone on Sunday the photos all came out blank - still not sure why it's doing that.

I house sit again from tomorrow. Friends had asked if I wanted to go to Mana Pools over half term but I have already committed to dog sitting for my high school biology teacher. Having coffee tomorrow morning with some of my school teachers from Convent. Have been asked to do another airport meet and greet in July but this time for German tourists (I don't have to speak German for it though - I did German for two years in high school but it is not really useable).

Physio and wetness

Having to get my head around my new timetable. I now teach my Chinese five year old in the mornings Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays and then in the afternoon the other two days. I continue to teach French to my Chinese ten year old and then have my Hellenic form 3 randomly (basically when he needs help). Trying to get tutoring on my free afternoons. There have been two people interested but they want tutoring every afternoon and it is tricky with having my five year old two afternoons. At the moment am having a battle of wills with my five year in trying to get him to look properly at words and not guess read. Trying to get hime to recognise the letters we're learning. I think a sticker system needs to come into effect tomorrow. Also trying to get him to look how I draw letters before he rushes ahead and does his own version. He doesn't like it but having to be firm. With my ten year old we will be venturing into the passé composé tomorrow.

Still working on my second wetland report from the field visits on Sunday. Have another field trip tomorrow between teaching and will have to also write that up. Will be going with one of Zimbabwe's very own Nobel Laureates. It could be quite wet as we are finally having some much needed rain. Unfortunately the remaining wetlands in Harare are once again disappearing at an alarming rate. Friday is World Wetland Day.

Finally had my first physio session this afternoon at Hands On in Avondale. It is rather overdue and although the swelling has come down a lot, it is still very tender. My GP had put it down as a severe sprain.  I stupidly didn't ask the physio what she reckoned I had done, she just said to rather do upper body for my personal training and she will only give me exercises to do from next week. She started off with using an electro current machine with gel, then massaged the tendons before putting on a hot pack (which was actually jolly hot and burnt a little to begin with). I see her again on Friday when I also see my other therapist.

Last minute shopping for a president

I was the only one successful in our third trip to Market Square last Sunday. The two others with me were turned away and directed to Makombe Building to change from alien to citizen and to replace an alien ID. I went and joined the queue I had been directed to the week before and hit my first difficult person but luckily the supervisor at counter 8 had signed my birth certificate so all was well. My friend who wanted to get her citizenship had a week of being shunted from one door to another at Makombe Building but they did actually phone her today and she has it at last. I don't know if I would have held out like she did.

I went to the voter registration centre open in Mount Pleasant and was relieved I was only one of three people there. Well I guess I should wish there were more people registering. As one of the three other people there put it, "we were last minute shoppers for a president". I thought I had everything but the person at the first desk said I needed a stamp on my ZOL bill to show it was original. I thought this meant I would have to go away and some how get this. I suggested that instead I get a utility bill in my mum's name and get her to sign an affidavit. He said no, my mum would have to come in person to the registering centre and sign it there. He handed me a form to sign which I did which he seemed to think was an affidavit for the ZOL form - I am still not sure how that all worked but I got registered - woohoo! Now I will have to start figuring out who I should vote for or vote against. As far as I can tell there are an awful lot of different opposition candidates - it would be better if they could consolidate.

Have battled a cold most of this week and have lost my morning home school students. It does mean though that I can now take my Chinese five year old in the mornings until he goes back to China and it gives me precious afternoon time to find work tutoring. I think I got sick as I was already feeling a bit burnt out with the double home schooling only three weeks in. Just need to get active in seeking out extra pupils to tutor. Perhaps can even try do lessons online. This weekend I've got some further work trying to save Harare's remaining wetlands.

A much happier five year old

Vos enfants ne sont pas vos enfants.
Ils sont les fils et les filles de l’appel de la Vie à elle-même,
Ils viennent à travers vous mais non de vous.
Et bien qu’ils soient avec vous, ils ne vous appartiennent pas.
Vous pouvez leur donner votre amour mais non point vos pensées,
Car ils ont leurs propres pensées.
Vous pouvez accueillir leurs corps mais non leurs âmes,
Car leurs âmes habitent la maison de demain, que vous ne pouvez visiter, pas même dans vos rêves.
Vous pouvez vous efforcer d’être comme eux, mais ne tentez pas de les faire comme vous.
Car la vie ne va pas en arrière, ni ne s’attarde avec hier.

Khalil Gibran

Today I had a much more lively lesson with my five year old. We persisted with maths, reading, sounds and writing but we then discussed food going bad and I told him about bread mold. We decided to start an experiment growing our own on a slice of bread but he was reluctant to just leave the bread to get on with it. We also talked about animals that cause diseases and he didn't know what a rat was so I found the video below of pouched rats used to detect land mines. He was completely taken with the rat featured and asked how he might catch the rat that eats his granny's cabbages in their back garden. I asked him why he wanted to know this and he said he wants a pet rat - I don't know how thrilled his parents will be by this idea.

My personal trainer kindly taped my tendons today at the start of my session. It is helping a little. Need to get preauthorisation to see the physio for Bupa to cover it. Saw my psychiatrist after teaching and he has upped my lithium to treatment level for the moment. He prodded a bit into my rage episode and I ended up in tears. He was trying to get me to see that I must give people the benefit of the doubt and let comments go. I don't do that easily. He wants me to work on cognitive responses to situations - it is easier said than done. Will discuss it with my therapist tomorrow.

Had to make a decision on going to England for a friend's wedding in April. Sadly funds are not going to permit it as much as I would have loved to.

Technology and modal verbs

This week is pretty busy with teaching and then meeting people at lunchtimes. Managed to prepare work in advance for today so I could go watch The Greatest Showman last night with friends. It was a feel good movie, but not sure it quite met the reviews I'd heard. Prior to going my phone died a sudden death and refused to switch on again. I managed to get a Chinese one to replace it this morning and so far so good, although I didn't realise there was a code for my Bitcoin wallet that I was supposed to have backed up - oh dear. Will see what can be done to resuscitate my old phone to retrieve it. It was quite a complicated process paying for my new phone as the only money I had was ecocash but luckily the shop salesman was accommodating and let me put my SIM card in the phone to make payment. Am noticing a lot more people are paying by ecocash in the supermarket and most restaurants accept it. People really don't have cash. To pay tips at coffee shops I am having to send waiters air time.

Shame, my poor five year old student is feeling very stressed by grade 1 and his new workload from learning Chinese. He seems to get a lot of written home work for that practising Chinese characters. His mum has asked me to ease up on the grade one work and make it more like my old lessons which it is gratifying to know he really enjoyed and misses. She said last night when he was being made to do his Chinese home work, in an angry outburst he grabbed his scissors and started carving into his desk. Poor thing - he has really plunged into the deep end. Working on what I can do tomorrow to cheer him up. I think he is missing his friends from nursery school but he does at least see his best friend three times a week at swimming.

I met with my friend who also teaches English as a foreign language this morning before work and she said there's another app called Zoom which can be used instead of Skype and can be used in China. It apparently has some great features for teaching. We also discussed joining language schools online and teaching online. Possibly is a way of earning money outside the country which right now would be extremely useful. We talked about how home schooling is on the one hand not that lucrative but is at least a dependable income as, although you can charge a better hourly rate for tutoring, people are not good at committing. My friend says she does all her teaching from home which saves time and money as you don't have to drive all over the place like I do. Lots to think about. Was great to chat to someone doing similar work to me and compare notes.

Used the book Eric in It's a Piece of Cake by Lulu and Tee which is about chacma baboons in Cape Town for my lessons this week. It went down a treat and generated interest. I really must try write some stories. Could definitely do some dinosaur ones from my lessons with my five year old - he could possibly even help me write them.

Les mantes religieuse and Ecocash

Overall it has been a good Monday. My lessons went well and my students were all fairly endearing. Looked at insects in French with my ten year old and he particularly liked the story of the praying mantis or la mantis religieuse eating her mate. We watched the below National Geographic video at the end of the lesson as a reward for working on the conjugation of -ir verbs. The only thing that wasn't so great today was that the only remaining person paying me cash no longer can and now I am getting paid entirely in Ecocash. You can pay for groceries with it but it isn't accepted everywhere and for instance my doctor requires a shortfall to be paid with no Ecocash option. When my Chinese parents can no longer source cash you know the situation is dire.

Otherwise I had personal training at lunch time. I made the mistake of saying I miss cardio with my ankle injury. Well I got an upper body cardio session - I think I asked for it. The endorphin high was good though afterwards and I need to keep exercising.

Almost a Zimbabwean citizen

Back we trekked to Market Square this morning. I got my birth certificate with ease - I was the only one in the queue. I then went to counter 8 to ask what I needed for my ID and they sent me off round the corner to photocopy my passport. When I returned the guy at the counter said that if I was applying for an alien ID I would have to go to Makombe building BUT if I was going to get a citizen ID I could do it there and then at Market Square and all I needed to do was go get my newly acquired birth certificate photocopied and join the ID queue. This was very exciting - I can finally be Zimbabwean and British. They didn't even want the letter that my friend had to write trying to say why I hadn't wanted to renounce my citizenship when I was 18. At this point the friend I was with needed to get home to finish preparing lunch for a group of us, so I will make a third trip back next Sunday but it is all fairly straightforward, very chilled and for the most part highly efficient. Amazing! Hopefully I can then register to vote - woohoo!

It has ended up being a very social weekend but I am feeling rested for what promises to be another frenetic week of teaching. Yesterday morning I went along to the nia workshop at the studio on Epping Road (memories of when my friend's used to dance with Dawn Saunders there and when I briefly did a dance class). It was interesting. Quite a different approach to dance to what I have known in ballet where if you feel pain you shouldn't do it - definitely not the philosophy of pointe work - no pain, no gain there. I enjoyed the jazz and more up tempo stuff which were fun and in a way a little like the swing class I went to with my cousin in Cape Town. The more martial art and new age things I was little less sure of. Had a braai and then a farewell yesterday and today was the lunch and am off now for drinks to see a friend back from the States.

Finding home schooling is a bit of a labour of love as I can't charge what I would charge for an hour's tutoring. It requires a lot of preparation and you feel like a rugby coach trying to get the students to keep going (we do have breaks, but still). When my Chinese student goes back to China in March I may try to rather get tutoring work. Someone is interested in A level maths lessons. Told them I can't do mechanics but can help with core and statistics. Am now enjoying the French lessons with my Chinese 10 year old most as it lends itself to interesting discussions in French. He asks some good questions. My five year old wants to have a little of what we used to do incorporated into his daily lessons - his mum says he misses talking about dinosaurs - it has only been one week so far!

No bones broken

Went to see my GP this morning after teaching about my ankle as it's still inflamed and sore. She said she thinks I may have done something to the tendon and I am probably going to have to have physio. She also sent me off to have x-rays to check I hadn't broken anything. Luckily all was fine on that front. At the Diagnostic Centre I bumped into my high school Shona teacher, Amai Chihambakwe which was nice. On my way to work this morning I got coffee from Veldemeer's and saw a guy I used to do extra maths with at Miss van Wyk's in upper sixth. It has been a while and we both kept squinting at each other before I realised where I knew him from and went and said hello. Harare really can feel like a small village at times but it is one of the things I love about it.

Am glad tomorrow is Friday, I've got to finish preparing to teach my four year old and then my ten year old French. In our previous lesson I helped the ten year old with his homework on Gaul mythology. Interesting that they had gods that were a mixture of Greek and Roman ones. We looked at Apollon, Mercure and Cernunnos. When my student's aunt asked me something mid lesson I accidentally replied in French as my brain was working in that instead of English. As it turned out though we had to then translate the English to Chinese. I guess that's what my student has to do everyday.

And it's only the second day ...

Starting on Tuesday has thrown me as to what day of the week today is. I am now home schooling my original two in the morning and also starting grade 1 by correspondence with my Chinese five year old before he goes back to China in March. In between these two rather heavy commitments (I teach one set in the morning and then my five year old from 1.30 for three hours) I have to fit in my Chinese ten year old for French and have yet to hear from my form four (he contacted me about the accounts text book I suggested last term but has yet to start on tutoring). I had forgotten how much prep work grade one is. At least I am semi familiar with it from last year and this year's student should be easier.

Saw a friend today who also teaches English as a second language and I am going to meet with her next week to discuss teaching online as that is what I will do with my five year old when he is in China. Apparently it is not so easy to use Skype in China. I may have to develop an educational blog or record lessons and upload them. Will see. Another friend of mine is working on developing online material for children studying for Cambridge high school exams by distance learning. Apparently there is a course offered by Edinburgh University focusing on online learning and developing materials for it. The friend I saw today also gave me an invitation to go to her workshop on Nia on Saturday morning. Hopefully I don't have to jump around as my ankle is still tender. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. Went to the Well Woman Clinic this morning and I may have to up my lithium around the time I get PMS. Apparently it is not uncommon to get heightened bipolar rage then. Was told that I now have to start having a battery of other tests done yearly - the joys of being a woman!

What with the Nia workshop, a friend's farewell, going back to Market Square and seeing another friend, this weekend is looking fairly busy. Will need to also fit in lesson preparation now and try get ahead for the week. Went to a pub quiz last night and the last round was on Zimbabwe politics post the 14th November last year. Knew a couple of the twenty questions but am afraid the vast majority I didn't - I probably should though. Really hoping I can register to vote in time once I've sorted out my ID on Sunday.

La Rentrée

Yesterday's two year old birthday party was a success. I went early to help and was served a chilled G&T and given the task of wrapping the pass-the-parcel and hiding Freddo frogs between the layers of paper. I chose to do this rather than blow up balloons as I have a slight phobia of balloons popping in my face. It ended up being a massive parcel but I think the two year olds had fun. It was a glorious summer's afternoon and we were able to be outside in the garden under the trees. There was a massive bougainvillea tree (yes a tree - unusual) in full blossom. I was the semi official photographer and snapped away as the children bounced on the jumping castle and played with balloons. My friend Lucy had made an impressive Pepper Pig dinosaur cake. It was all over fairly quickly, well after two and half hours - but it felt quick. A few of us remained afterwards and we sat and drank port and enjoyed the evening light and first pin pricks of stars. There was an amazing perigee moon the other night, don't know if anyone saw it.

Had a fairly productive morning so far today getting ready for the proper start of school tomorrow. I am still not 100% sure how many pupils I will have but am prepping for those I know I will have. I have my Chinese five year old this afternoon. Going to read Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy and look at different types of dogs. Will also do a bit more on holidays as he has just been to Nyanga. Last week he surprised me with another big dinosaur name - Masiakasaurus from Madagascar! He now knows more about dinosaurs than I do which is fantastic. He is also starting to tell jokes in English which are funny and I am thrilled as that is a big step in language acquisition.

Have personal training just now. Put it off last week as it was the last bit of my sister and brother-in-law's stay and my ankle was still sore. Have warned my trainer I am still a bit wary of putting too much weight on it - will see what I do today. Do need to do some exercise after Christmas though.

Well that was easy Market Square

So I trundled off to Market Square this morning with my friend Lynda as had heard you can process IDs and birth certificates on Sundays there. Dead right and wow, what a breeze it was - and FREE! I needed to process getting another birth certificate first and they pulled out the file with my details in like a piece of cake and it was all done in 5 minutes - amazing!! Lynda managed to collect her birth certificate, have the correction on her mother's birth place made (they had put Smith - I think as in Ian Smith, instead of Rhodesia) and process her ID from start to new ID card (yes, not paper!) in an hour. What a pleasure and I didn't even have to use the rather stinky public loo - phew. I will have to go back next Sunday to get my birth certificate and then do my ID but at this rate I may just get it done in time to register to vote, fingers crossed. Wish I'd known about doing it on a Sunday before now.

Went for a celebratory coffee (at this point I was in desperate need of caffeine - I started craving it at 8 am) and cheesecake at Classic Desserts. We had done great things in terms of home affairs all before 9:30 on a Sunday - not bad going, not bad going at all. Usually you could sit in the same queue for the better part of a day - and might have to use those smelly loos. Not sure how easy it is to get a Zim passport now that you're allowed dual citizenship but for the moment my birth certificate and ID will do if I am still able to register to vote.

It's a beautiful day with clear blue skies - I get on a bit of high on days like these. Heading off just now to help my friend Lucy set up for her son Philippe's second birthday. I am technically his god-mother. It's a good day for a garden party, may need to take a hat.

Le ciel s’éclaircit aujourd’hui. Profitez du soleil!

Therapy helped yesterday. I think we will go into my anger management and triggers more next time but was good to offload and we didn't prod too deeply yesterday. I will try go to the Well Woman Clinic to see about how to reduce the spikes with PMT. Vitamin B jabs might be a solution and apparently evening primrose or a diuretic. Anything would be good right now and preferably something other than just going up onto a high dose of lithium but I need to see my psychiatrist too. But I came out of therapy yesterday fairly happy and it didn't stir up everything too much.

Went out to dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and some friends as it was their last night here. We had hoped to go to Chang Thai but you apparently have to book two days in advance for a Friday seating. Instead we went to Fish Monger but they were rather low on stock as shipments of fish were apparently sitting in Rusape (of all places). It was enjoyable nonetheless and I said goodbye to Beth and Andrew last night as there wasn't space in the car to go with to the airport this morning.

Am getting going with lesson prep for next week as school starts properly then. With my Chinese five year old I think we'll get into the world of Beatrix Potter. We did a giant floor puzzle with all her characters on it last lesson and I showed him the video clip below which he enjoyed. I showed him the new film Peter Rabbit trailer and he said "No more please" to that! Trying to decide what I'm going to do with my French Chinese student.

Tomorrow morning I might go with a friend to Market Square in town to try sort out my birth certificate and ID (have lost both and need replacements). If it goes smoothly could possibly try register to vote in this year's elections as aliens are allowed to vote now (people on foreign passports but who were born here). Hoping the queues won't be horrific.

Otherwise need to look through my photos for pictures I've taken over the years of the house of friends on the ridge in Avondale. They have sold it and are moving back to Poland which is sad. Have lots of good memories from my childhood playing there and then of house sitting over the past seven years.

A tad apprehensive

«Troubled soul don't lose your heart

'Cause joy and peace he brings

And the beauty that's in store

Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

There will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place,

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always»

(Jeremy Camp, There will be a day)

I see my therapist at 4 today. It's the first time I've seen her in close on a year as haven't needed to. We will be discussing what transpired a week ago when I got really angry and was locked out by my family. My mum said some very hurtful things that I probably need to process. I think she sees my dad in me when I get that angry and it scares her. My psychiatrist is away and has a locum. I might try go see my previous doctor as she knows my family history and my triggers well. So yah, quite a lot to work through today. I am doing ok now but am a teeny bit manic and a tad ultra sensitive to comments people pass. My friend Sharon wants to film this afternoon. It could be interesting.

I really enjoyed the exhibition Panacea yesterday at Sorellas. Go along if you can, it's worth seeing. Tanyse Van Vuuren, one of the exhibiting artists had written a beautiful piece on emotional expression. I quote her "As humans we often shy away or are unsure of how to identify and deal with or process negative emotions. They are uncomfortable and at times too painful to feel - but our very healing is in finding the freedom to identify the spectrum of emotions, to dignify every human emotion and give expression to them somehow. ... Emotions, I have learned are our helpers - they help us identify with one another in our humanity, and they will, if we engage with the process, help us to feel our way to them and through them into a new way of thinking and being."

My step-mum in England messaged me this morning to say she gathers my dad is planning on moving back to Zim. This is not good news to me I'm afraid as Harare is such a small place I am likely to encounter him and have to deal with him. He still doesn't take medication for bipolar and is extremely erratic. I message my dad on whatsapp but am happy to only interact in this way. I am not sure I am ready for him to be a bigger presence in my life again, sad as it sounds.

Today is my sister and brother-in-law's last day in Zim. I think they have enjoyed it even though they didn't in the end manage to really get out of Harare. We happened to ask to my brother-in-law if he would consider visiting again and he immediately answered no - I think he was joking but am not sure :P He definitely has found it a culture shock being here and taking in the decay of infrastructure and services but am hoping Zim may have soaked into him and he did enjoy his time nonetheless. They definitely have had better weather here than back home although they did miss the snow. I have been looking back at some of my photos from my time in Switzerland and my experiences in the snow. I made some good memories and friends there.

Hidden Truths

In beauty there is pain.
Does the pain make you more aware?
There is a price, it cuts deep.
Under the surface the discomfort seeps.
Old wounds that are rubbed raw.
Do they ever heal? They're still sore.
But to achieve grace and make it look easy
you suppress it, cover it, grin and bear it.

These feet have known so much.
Moulded and tortured in the name of art.
They have a story of their own,
each blister, lost toe nail, callous, bruise.
It is unnatural but a dream
each little girl clings to
as with her body to the music she sings to.

Things that make my heart melt

Bit of a mix of emotions today. A good friend is leaving in a couple of weeks which is sad but hey I can visit her in Taunton next time I go to the UK. But will miss her. Am quite upbeat otherwise. Might see my therapist in the next day or so. Went to paint rocks at Phoenix Lodge this morning. It is good to know such a facility exists for people with mental health challenges. My mum threatens me with Ward 12 which sounds diabolical and out of the Victorian nightmare asylum horror stories. It has been good to see other people who have walked similar paths to my own and who just get me. A friend has lent me Paolo Coelho's biography which looks good. Funny quote from today "Barney is not the same dinosaur, there's a different person inside." I really thought that was hilarious.

Started back to teaching my five year old on Tuesday. He came running to the gate to let me in and had made me a card with a frangipani flower stuck on. He had got his mom to write "Dear Miss Kity (spelling intended), thank you for teaching me" and it was all his own initiative apparently. Really made my day and is what makes me love my job. A friend also hand made me a glass as a present and that also was special. Otherwise, my family had thought of going to Vic Falls and then Nyanga for a couple of days. I would have stayed behind as I am teaching but in the end plans didn't come together so they have been in Harare. Have done a bit of a coffee shop tour with them and went out to Kiki's and Patrick Mavros. Also went to Chapungu Kraal and Doon Estate. I need to stop spending as I bought a book at Kiki's and then a sculpture at Chapungu - eeeek. The artist at Chapungu who sculpted my carving is keen for me to go teach art out there as he said they would all like to improve their drawing and in exchange I could maybe learn sculpture. Will see, it's a bit of a trek out there but it is tempting. The sculptors were really nice people.

We had milkshakes at Veldemeer's at Doon Estate and a bowl of Belgian pommes frittes. We had just finished when a vervet monkey with her tiny baby clinging to her hopped on our table as we were still sitting there. She confidently picked up the unfinished tomato sauce dish and started happily licking it out. My brother in law caught this in an amazing photo where he also captured my sister's facial expression - I have asked for a copy but they won't give it to me as they know it will go up on social media :P But it is priceless!! The monkey then ran off with the bowl and I went after her. After trying to negotiate with her she did put it down but then started advancing towards me in a menacing way and I chickened out and backed off. Eventually we got the bowl back but it was definitely entertaining.

My really good friend is back on her vacc from film school in the States and I have volunteered for her to film me as she follows me around for a day. It could be interesting, although I am pondering what she will capture - did say loo visits and getting dressed were off limits. We're going to a print art exhibition opening at Sorella's Pizzeria tonight which my friend Ashleigh Donn is putting on with a friend.