Momentary Breakthrough

I nearly fell over backwards this morning when Ira came bounding up for lessons all on his own. I asked him where his bag was and he gleefully went back and got it and came straight back. He put it away and and got out his objects for sorting all on his own and so the lesson proceeded for a good half hour until the spell ended and we went back to square one with him running out of the classroom and trying to play catch me under the washing on the washing line outside. At least no bolts for the nursery school playground. He did eventually come back and even sat on my lap to hear the story. It was a breakthrough and may we continue with more of that.

Coming into school my supervisor accosted me and wanted me to pay up for my replacement last week. Following friends' advice I said what were legal rights. She said well she would need a doctor's letter which I said I could get. That seemed to make her take a step back and we left it there.

With my grade 4, I had to explain to his uncle that dyslexia makes word recognition difficult. He said he had thought it was just a matter of discipline. I am going to a workshop on using Jolly Phonics on Thursday.

Have a potential English as a second language student from Pakistan who wants to prepare for his IELTS exam in a month's time. He conveniently lives literally round the corner from me. He wants to go study electrical engineering in Manchester or Australia.

Hippo Pools

Road trip out along potholed roads,
Miombo woodlands and dombos.
Rivers winding and churning away
To the bush and tranquility.
Vistas of green and muddy river
Butterflies flitting and the grasses a quiver.
Firelight and braaied meat,
Starry skies hard to beat.

Just increase your meds

This past week I had a bit of a dip again. Part of it was due to the frustration of not being able to seek expert advice on Ira and his autism and then for his speech impediment and partly I think it was also premenstrual. In any case it resulted in one day not being able to get myself out of bed to school. I did let them know. On Thursday I managed to go to the ministry training on following the correspondence school for grade one. Most of it was in the manual and a lot was in Shona so I didn't find it particularly useful. We were given a letter when we handed in work on Tuesday saying we needed to give $5 towards snacks for the bring and share! On the day they demanded instead a $5 registration fee.

When I went back to teaching Ira on Friday I was told that if I miss another day of school I lose the job. I was asked what was wrong with me and I said I get depression. I don't think the person understood the severity as she said oh she gets it too but can force herself to carry on. I told her I was bipolar and she said oh, well couldn't I just increase my medication when I felt low? Not only am I not allowed to miss a single day of school I have to pay out of my salary for the person who replaced me. The only consoling thing was that apparently Ira missed me and on Friday when it was someone's birthday in the nursery school he apparently had a plate for me and said he needed a slice for his teacher.

See you in a month Runbo!

Well Runbo will be on his way to China now and soon will meet his baby brother. Our planned picnic didn't quite go to plan as he was a bit upset about saying goodbye to his cat Chilli who is going to stay at his dad's factory while they are away. We did semi play dinosaur snap with the cards I made and munched ginger nougat biscuits. Runbo told me his "soupcase" was all packed and ready to go. We somehow got onto talk about his milk teeth and I told him they would start falling out when he was six and he would get new ones. With glee Runbo told me his new ones would be just like T. rex's. I did point out that T. rex had ones the size of bananas but this didn't faze Runbo. I am going to miss him while he's away and just hope meeting baby brother goes well.

Feeling frustrated with what to do with Ira. Am going to keep reading up on autism and what I can do. It is thwarting that his parents and my supervisor won't even consent to him seeing a speech therapist. I met with another friend who is helping design a syllabus and curriculum for Cross Over and she reckons the reading syllabus I'm using should have more phonics in it. She's going to pass on some materials to me. On Thursday I'm supposed to go to a workshop on the government correspondence course. Hoping it doesn't go on all day as I have two other students later in the day. I have to submit the first set of work done by Ira to the ministry on Tuesday.

I had my form 3 student this morning and we looked at the introduction to Macbeth and why Shakespeare uses the witches. I had my grade 3 student yesterday and had forgotten how much I enjoy teaching him. He has severe dyslexia and has forgotten his times tables over the holidays when he went to his mum in Mozambique.

After teaching this morning I went to the depression support group get together and we sat and coloured in mindfulness pages. Sadly my friend hosting's father died this afternoon. It's now bucketing with rain. The Save River has been in full flood which is amazing.

Runbo's Secretary

Yesterday and today were not great with Ira. We went back to him not looking at any of the words for reading and having to make a deal for him to colour in. Apparently he did get diagnosed by the psychiatrist I suggested as being autistic but his parents feel it was too quick a diagnosis and don't believe it. His parents and my supervisor are also not interested in him seeing a speech therapist. This does make my job hard. I am particularly struggling with reading and sounds. At times he can speak but at other times he clams up.

Runbo came running up to my car today when I arrived to say his puppy had been sent to a home as Runbo needs to go to China. He is beginning to get excited about going to China and seeing his mum. We read the big brother book and the one on Chinese New Year again and then Runbo put me to work. He had a whole lot of people he wanted to make cards for. He cut out different sized and shaped pieces of paper and I was instructed what to write and draw. He wanted a card to his nursery school teacher Pippa saying Pippa he must go to China. Then one to his best friend at nursery school called Mindi asking him to still play with him. There were happy new year cards for his mum, dad and granny and then I got a card. I was to write to myself "Thank you for teach me" (I tried to correct it to teaching) and draw a secret picture to myself. I told Runbo I am going to miss him while he's away and sweet boy, he immediately replied he was going to miss me too.

I gave Runbo the choice of what we're going to do for his last lesson tomorrow before he goes. We agreed on a picnic in a den with his dinosaurs. I have some dinosaur snap cards to play with him. I'll take some biscuits - his favourites are Oreos and then Wedgewood nougat ones. Yesterday and today I had some new Chinese sweets. I think some might be for new year. One was called a sugar coated haw which is like a toffee coated hawthorn with sesame seeds. Then I've had fulingjiabing which is a sort of agar jelly coated in rice paper. Today Runbo had what was like a crystallised carrot and I think mine was either pear or apple. At first I thought mine was ginger but it didn't have much taste. It would help if I could read Chinese.

Toffee coated hawthorns.

fuling jibing rice paper jelly cakes - traditionally for Chinese New Year

Five stars to Ira today

So pleased to say that today Ira outdid himself. He read some of his words (a first), he coloured in, enjoyed using the sand tray for writing AND he finally did his news picture for me and did it willingly. There were other moments where he was not such a happy camper and I had to resort back to bargaining. A friend of his from last year who is a year younger than him has come back to nursery school and is now Ira's playmate again. I can say doesn't Ira want to be able to go play with Jayden? If he does such and such and then this then he can go. It does work when he is crouched in the corner and won't budge. Definitely needed this as was beginning to lose heart as it felt like I was pushing an elephant uphill with one hand all the time. When I drove out at the end of the morning Ira leaned over the picket fence and said bye bye and he'd see me tomorrow.

I came home over lunch and looked up on how to do binding for a quilt. Found the video below and going to try finish the overdue baby shower quilt for my to-be-godson. Once I've finished the quilt my next project will be to try do a quiet book for another friend's baby girl.

Discovered Runbo is a little scared of dragons. Although I pointed out that the Gruffle in the Puddle Lane story I was reading him looks a bit like T. rex, Runbo said no T. rex doesn't breathe fire and Runbo doesn't like the idea of fire blowing. OK, will need to change to some different books. Runbo asked for more T. rex stories but I think we need to go with something different to increase his vocabulary. Runbo did like the book on Chinese New Year. We sort of made a Chinese lantern today but need a stapler as the glue we had wasn't very strong. Since we couldn't continue with it without the stapler Runbo asked me to draw different dinosaurs for him on pieces of card. The T. rex was for him and his daddy and then the pterodactyl was for his mum. I asked him if he was now a big brothersaurus but he said no, he's a T. rex. He said he could take his card dinosaurs to China on the aeroplane on Saturday but not his plastic ones. I quite fancy drawing Runbo sitting on an aeroplane with his various dinosaurs peaking round at him from different places like the overhead locker and seats behind. Will try work on this idea.

SaveSave

Runbo has a baby brother

Kicked off the morning with Ira today and it required a lot of patience and encouraging. Even to the point of putting the stumpy crayon in his hand and trying to get him to draw circles. Numbers wasn't so great with separating red from green objects into sets. It was mission to get him to draw the red set. For reading I'm not sure if anything went in as Ira wouldn't look at the new words. The most success was in the patterns work for writing. Tomorrow we'll be using a sand tray for practising writing.

I spoke to my supervisor and she's going to speak to Ira's parents about going to speech therapy clinics at Parirenyatwa and going to possibly get assessed for autism. To diagnose autism you seem to need to do a lot of observations.

Went from teaching to coffee with a friend and she introduced me to a cool website called Canva that you can use for graphic design. She also suggested trying to sell photos online. We talked about the ideas of postponing one's Christmas to when all the January sales are on and possibly going up Dombonshawa or Ngomokurira this weekend. The weekend of the 28th I've been invited to go to Hippo Pools which I'm looking forward to.

When I got to Runbo's this afternoon he ran up and grabbed my hand and said I must come see. His dad had set up a new generator as they had a power cut and don't usually have them. Runbo was ecstatic that this produced electricity. After we read the story on Chinese New Year Runbo announced he didn't feel like making a lantern today as I'd planned but we could make it tomorrow. Instead he went and got his dinosaurs and we had a long conversation about who was related to who. Through this Runbo told me he had a baby brother. I wasn't sure if it was true as he then said the name was a secret and it was his best friend. Turns out from his dad he does indeed now have a brother. I asked Runbo if he was excited to go on an aeroplane on Saturday and if he was going to take his dinosaurs with him. He looked at me and said he didn't think the aeroplane would allow him to bring them - oh! I told Runbo's dad that Runbo thought the new baby was the size of his little finger. Runbo chirped in, no he was the size of a peanut. I think Runbo is in for a surprise.

I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and overall he thinks I'm doing well. He weighed me again though and has decided to decrease my olanzapine in an effort to try bring my weight down. Hopefully I won't become paranoid or overly anxious. He said though that if I do I can always up the dose again.

Hope

Hope
As elusive as a dandelion seed.
When you look at a field of dandelions
do you see dreams or weeds?
Try to grasp hold of it,
where will you keep it stored?
Will you keep it close
or will it simply be ignored?
Hope is everlasting
so close your eyes and make a wish.

Slow internet Sunday

Went to church this morning for the first time in ages. I have gone to help with kids' church but otherwise not really for over a year. Am grateful that friends from church have not brought it up when I've met them for coffee and have just been supportive. I don't think I would be able to go back if they had been judgemental and pressed me on why I wasn't going. One friend in particular really showed God's heart when she made the dress I wore to my sister's wedding. I had been having a dress made by an outreach project for women who have been abused in Epworth. Unfortunately the measurements didn't fit and the dress I was supposed to have didn't work out. This was the day before we left for England. My friend met me for coffee that day and said if the dress didn't work out to not hesitate in contacting her, she made me promise to. I did and she miraculously made a beautiful dress in just 3 hours that fitted perfectly. She offered it as a gift even though we'd used her fabric and time. It really helped me in going over to England as I was not wanting to at the time.

After church I managed to speak to three speech therapists. Apparently there is a clinic offered at Parirenyatwa Hospital every Monday. It might be useful for Ira to go to this. I have looked up what the symptoms of autism are and I am a bit concerned that he displays these. I will need to speak to my supervisor and his parents and see if we can get him tested. Hope he doesn't have it.

Watched the film of The Girl on the Train. I don't particularly like that it is set in the Hudson Valley instead of the line from Ashbury to Euston. For thrillers it is sometimes not so great to have read the book before watching the film as you know exactly what's going to happen if the film follows the plot. I've been watching youtube clips of Glee covers when the internet allows it and really wish there was a fun choir to join in Harare that does feel good music. At church I was asked to be in a dance group for a Variety Show to raise funds for the less privileged. I think it will be line dancing. A friend sent the link for a free online photography course through Harvard and I've started watching the lecture videos. Is similar so far to a photography online course I was given for Christmas but it is helpful to watch rather than just read the information.

Glee

Reconnected with some friends at church which was nice as I've been feeling a bit cut off from people. Have coffee dates with some friends this week in between teaching. One friend wants me to paint a picture on a sub-station building. I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. Hoping I won't have to wait too long as I have Runbo after.

Fun and Games

Today was challenging. Ira went all rigid when he was brought through the gate to me and I had to coax and cajole him into the classroom. Eventually he was persuaded to help me with his numbers exercise and he did manage to do the writing exercises but reading and sounds were near impossible. I am not sure if the sounds in particular are because of his speech impediment. In between to try and get him to focus I got him to run around and do some stretches. At one point though he rolled into a ball and rocked backwards and forwards shouting. Am going to try meet with a speech therapist next week to get some tips and am researching on ADHD and what I can do.

With Runbo this afternoon we spoke about his little brother who will be born at the beginning of February. When I said to Runbo was he going to share things with his little brother he gave me a quizzical look. I said how about his dinosaurs. He went hmm and then after deep consideration said maybe not. He then started doing a mental audit of all his toys and said the motorbike was definitely a no and only he could play with his puppy. To put Runbo's mind at ease I did say well his little brother wouldn't be big enough for a year. Runbo then said oh his brother was going to be the size of his finger. Trying not to laugh I showed him how big roughly he would be and Runbo seemed really surprised. Next week we'll look at a book on Chinese New Year and make lanterns and dragons before he goes back to China with his dad and granny for it and for the arrival of the new baby.

Glad it's the weekend. I will have to do some lesson prep for Ira and for my Israeli businessman's English lessons starting next week. Otherwise I am enjoying Wuthering Heights and having finished reading The Girl on the Train I've managed to get the film. Am disappointed that the film is set in America but interested to see how they portray the story. Having coffee in Borrowdale tomorrow morning with friends and a friend's new baby which will be nice.

The issue of being childless & slightly exhausted

Today's lessons with Ira went better in that he didn't cry or howl like he did yesterday but he wasn't paying attention so it was a song and dance routine with a bit of bargaining over when he finished something he would be allowed to go play. He enjoyed sorting things into groups for numbers and he threw himself into the environmental science part on water where he could pour water into different containers and see its properties. When he first came to our classroom he did try to run away which I had a hunch he might do after yesterday but after that there were no bolts for the gate like yesterday - phew. At the end though it didn't feel like I only started this yesterday. Felt like it had been at least a week of it already.

Runbo was much gentler with his puppy this afternoon and his dad asked for tips on having a puppy. We spent a good part of the lesson in the garden. Next week will be my last week with Runbo before he goes to China for a month for Chinese New Year and to be with his mum who is there and about to have a baby brother for Runbo. The magic suitcase did captivate both Ira and Runbo and was a success.

Am feeling a bit like I am not part of the group with friends who have babies. I don't mind being with friends little ones but when the talk all shifts to child birth and comparing notes on babies it can be isolating. Have had people say when am I going to have a baby as if it is as simple as planning a party. I would like children but after a friend's experience with depression, pregnancy and medication I am wary. I wouldn't be able to be on lithium and that could really affect my mental health and being on other drugs while pregnant is risky. There's then also the consideration that if I had a child, would I be well enough to look after it. One would hope to be in a relationship and have support and not doing it on my own but as the mother it is a huge strain if you are not well mentally and have a child dependent on you. The other thing is that I could pass on the genes which predispose one to depression.

To have a baby the obvious thing is to have a partner which so far isn't happening. Should that happen it is also the financial cost which is not to be taken lightly. It would not be fair to my Mum to fall pregnant and be a single parent.

So for the short term it doesn't look likely just yet. I just wish some friends could appreciate this.

And so it began

Golly gosh there is a lot of prep work that goes into teaching Grade 1, especially when you teach reading, writing, phonics, comprehension, intro to maths, art, environmental science, social studies and religious education - phew. It's a lot more work that I had counted on. Got to the nursery school and headed to my shed classroom to set up. Ira came shortly after and our day began. Well we started with putting objects into groups of the same thing and then moved on to Janet and John (his first words to read). This was all going well until he suddenly started asking if he could go to his previous nursery school teacher's class instead. As we progressed with writing and then social studies this got worse to the point where he started crying. He then wanted to go to the loo. I had been warned this was a common ploy. I waited a bit till he seemed to be desperate. When he came back we made a little more progress but he then made a bolt to the gate going to the nursery school yard. I had to coax him back but we didn't get much further after that.

His nursery school teacher who is my supervisor said that she was pleased we made 2 hours with mini breaks. I have to just be firm and direct him back to what we're doing - not easy. I hope he will come willingly tomorrow. He did smile and wave at me when he joined the nursery school children at the end of the morning.

I have a magic suitcase that I am going to use with both Ira and Runbo tomorrow. It is painted green and gold and has glitter and stars on it. Will get things from it for different activities. I told Runbo I had a surprise for him tomorrow but he thought surprises meant presents so i said no, this was a magic suitcase. We'll see how that goes.

It looks like I'm going to be working pretty darn hard this term. I will have Ira my grade 1 in the mornings and then junior and high school students, Runbo my 4 year old and an Israeli businessman for English in the afternoons and evening. Will mean my days are pretty jam packed full. Will want downtime at the weekend but will need to do some housework. Bit dull and boring.

Back to Grade 1

Well in the mornings I will be teaching a little boy called Ira following the government correspondence course. Unfortunately his parents only got the syllabus from the ministry this morning so for the last few hours post teaching Runbo, I've been frantically reading everything and then getting objects together for counting and cutting out pictures of Janet and John and sticking them on cardboard, along with cutting out word flashcards. It's a lot of work and I am plunging in the deep end. Glad I just have one student and don't have to do this for over 20. I learned to read with Janet and John and Dick and Sally so it is a memory jerker of a bygone time. It is a bit ironic that they still use these characters as in the blurb to the teachers the ministry belabours the point that the correspondence school was once only for whites but now is for everyone. Perhaps Chido and Rudo might be a more modern take.

Along with reading and writing, I also have to do environmental science, social studies, religious education and home economics. I had thought I was just doing reading and writing but the other units aren't too long and sort of tie in with learning reading and writing. I'm afraid I am not volunteering to teach Shona. Sadly after learning it for 9 years at school I can't understand the basic instructions for the teacher. I think it would be better if Ira's parents could take that on.

I am now being paid in bond notes for some of my teaching which I am not that happy about. You can at least buy most things with them but it is a problem for my medication which the pharmacy will only accept US dollars in cash for - not even the option of paying by card. It also makes it difficult if you want to go out of the country. Some imported products are beginning to disappear from supermarket shelves. Feels like over Christmas we all forgot about it and were merry but now with January we feel the bite again.

Parachutes and Vintage

Today I made parachutes with Runbo and he quickly decided it wasn't nearly exciting enough using the pipe cleaner man we'd made. No, we had to get Peppa Pig, D. rex and then his M&M blue guy. When they landed rather heavily on the ground he pronounced them light - I've worked out this means dead, so corrected him and he said, yes that's what he said - OK. We ended the lesson with me being asked to draw T. rexes and being told no that's not what they look like. When I suggested Runbo then draw them he said oh no, he can draw planes but not dinosaurs.

At the end of every lesson Runbo's Granny always makes me a mug of green tea and a mug of rooibos. I have acquired a taste for green tea through this. This week she has been adding dried rose buds which do give it a nice taste. Runbo's Granny speaks hardly any English and since I am limited in my Chinese the exchanges involve a lot of nodding. I do know how to say xiè xiè (表示感激) or thank you from my brief Chinese lessons with my friend Sharon but that's about it. At times Runbo has had to be translator, particularly on the one day where I was going to a dinner straight after and couldn't manage to eat the food I get given. I am served a mixture of Chinese and Zimbabwean/European snacks. I typically am given a plate with pistachios (which are Runbo's favourite), pretzels, some raisins, a couple of sesame chips, sometimes a Danish butter cookie, possibly jelly crocodiles and then a variety of Chinese treats such as a sponge square with jelly pineapple in the middle, a marshmallow with a cream filling, wasabi peas or occasionally a strip of what I think is pork in a honey glazing (not so keen on this one). I don't need a meal after usually and feel it only polite to try eat everything. As soon as I finish my green tea it is usually refilled (green tea is supposed to be very good for you, so all good).

Chinese marshmallows

It's my to-be-godson Philippe's first birthday on Sunday. I am down to make 60 cupcakes and will go early and set up. I am apparently billed as the professional photographer for the day - eeeek. The theme is vintage so need to dig around in my cupboard and see what kind of outfit I can come up with. My Mum says she thinks of vintage as the 1920's but from Pinterest it would seem the 1950's and 60's more.

Looks like I'll be teaching a little boy who should be going into Grade 1 this year. His parent's couldn't find him a place in other schools. I am to follow the correspondence syllabus. Will be experience in trying to teach someone to read and write which is useful as I've had two Chinese students in the past whose parents wanted me to do this. In the afternoons I will tutor and take Runbo. Had been wanting to try visit Cape Town. Teaching the Grade 1 will mean I will have to postpone till the school holidays in April, but that's OK.